a terrible two-r de force

so last monday, the missus -- possibly days away from an early delivery -- sends me a series of texts at work documenting what a bad boy the boy had been in the few hours i'd been away.

it was fairly epic. i'm re-posting them here in slightly edited form for posterity. (profanity included.)

4:21 p.m.

So he stomped on my foot twice, slapped me in the face and as i was cribbing him for that he kicked me with both feet in my belly. Why, you ask? Because i was reading to him from the toy story book and apparently he did not want me to.

4:42 p.m.

Wow. This day is going in the books. Just tore down the baby gate and fell backward on his head while throwing a tantrum after i took him off the buffet for hitting the cat.

my response: "holy cow."

4:57 p.m.

Oh, i'm not done yet. Keep phone close- i'm having a lot of pressure ... Probably just bc i've been lifting on him a lot, but keep your ears open in case i need you.

6:01 p.m.

Really? For his maybe finale, he just pissed under the dining table. Don't ask.

but i did ...

6:26 p.m.

I was trying to avoid having to lift him onto the changing table, so i let him get out of bath and i was trying to diaper and dress him in the bathroom. But he ran away, naked. And that's how he used his freedom.

impressed, i facetiously wondered what he'd do for an encore. and then ...

6:53 p.m.

That would be slap me and hurl my glasses across the bedroom as i was hauling him away from tv to bed. Epic day. If my water doesn't break tonight i will be shocked. Though i have no idea why [the baby] would want to deal with any of this.

7:08 p.m.

He managed to break my fucking glasses again. I'm going to bed ...

perspective, part 2

on the other hand, i got to spend part of today with my brother pj and his son at good old mountaineer field -- not necessarily in the same section, but at the same ballgame.

i apologized to my nephew that the team wasn't able to give him a win, but my brother was grateful that he got to spend some time with a couple of his old fraternity brothers.

i got a chance to hang out with them for a while out in the blue lot in front of the stadium and commiserate on the vicissitudes of middle age.

there was laughter, both rueful and amused, reminiscing, re-living heartbreaking wvu losses and a little catching up what everyone was doing.

at the game, i sat next to a lawyer from cleveland and her friend who teaches fifth grade science in the montgomery county, md., school system, as well as an increasingly frustrated dude from winfield, w.va., and a third grade art teacher and her husband.

(didn't get to experience the ramping up of high-fives all around that had accompanied the snowball nature of scoring in our wins this fall, so there was some disappointment there, but at least the company was good.)

was able to have a nice supper of hot wings, fries and bleu with pj and his boy and my sister, joy. it was a nice couple of hours.

got home to learn that my son had been a perfect angel all day for his mama (so that's where all our karma went) and i didn't need to feel guilty about leaving them for about 12 hours.

while i would have loved a win and a continued chance to win a conference title, all in all, this wasn't a bad day.

perspective, part 1

so my mountaineers lost today.

after nine games of waiting for the switch to be on from the get-go instead of only for the second half, we get a game where the switch never got turned.

special teams killed us. a missed field goal that proved the difference in the game and a blocked field goal that was run back for a touchdown was what got us behind in the first place.

despite my fondest hopes, this is a year we'll have to write off for rebuilding and re-learning.

in my heart of hearts, i really believed we'd instantly pick up this magic offense and quickly mature on defense and run the table.

consider that balloon deflated.

unlike games in years past that were out and out massacres or simply broke our hearts, these losses were disappointing -- and just this side of frustrating. (see above.)

you could almost feel it in the crowd, which was as flat as any i'd been a part of in recent memory.

i hope it was the cold, but there was an excitement missing that was the polar opposite of what i'd experienced in our beatdown by louisiana state.

of course, the bigger concern is that maybe our hotshot offensive coordinator hire may possess a wizardry with the x's and o's, but might lack the managerial and motivational wherewithal to be a head coach.

i hope he's not too proud to ask for guidance and that he'll prove to be a fast learner. otherwise, we can look forward to a few more seasons of disappointing performances.

the fun age

when i became a new dad, i didn't quite understand what parents meant when they'd talk about toddlerhood being "the fun age."

i was very much enjoying the little bundle of burps and spews and crying the way he was. how could the little monkey be more fun than that?

now i see.

yes, the lil dude is mobile and a constant source of anxiety as a flight risk, but, yeah, the stuff he does at this age is pretty funny.

watching the synapses connect as he applies his observations and discoveries toward whatever new permutations his imagination dreams up is a source of wonder.

the bemused or gleeful amazement that comes across his face when presented with new experiences warms my heart and gives me hope for his intellectual curiosity.

then there's the simple laughs and silliness of being a child.

yeah, that stuff's just cute.