boy, sleeping

he's getting the hang of not being in his own bed at night.

i think it started a few weeks ago on a visit to his gaga and papaw's house. he'd managed to make it through the nights without waking up screaming and thrashing.

previous to that, whether it was at mom and dad's place on the lake or their house or at a hotel for thanksgiving, you could count on a fit in the middle of the night.

until the precedent at kris' house, we sort of dreaded similar outbursts at the beach.

well, sunday, monday and tuesday, he not only slept through the night, with but a few incidences of talking in his sleep or asking for milk, he actually slept in.

i think the days full of physical activity and staying up later with his cousins played a part, too.

funny thing was he was ready to lay down well before his cousins ever went down for bed. kris would walk him to our room, change him into his pajamas and set him up in bed with disney jr on the tube until he fell asleep. no fighting whatsoever.

just part of the vacation miracle. and for that, we thank you, Lord.

after potty

forgot to mention that after a week or so of consistently using the phrase "i have to go to the potty," he asked what these things were at the park. when i told him, of course, he had to go.

every effort i made to make it a short trip only made the trip last longer, so after he made no. 1 -- no. 1! really? all that drama for no. 1? -- and i was putting his shorts back on, he asked on that hot, muggy morning, "can we stay here all day?"

later in the week, while visiting a public pool near his grandparents in parkersburg, he also asked to go. this time, he insisted on standing and using the low, wheelchair accessible urninal, which he gripped with both hands. there was a lot of hand washing afterward.

the porta-john and the public urinal were the two potty experiences i was not looking forward to. at least i can say i got them out of the way. now all that's left is the filthy gas station restroom to complete the potty training nightmare trifecta.

good week

this was a good week for the boy. his pre-school teachers have said so. they even went so far as to say his last day was "excellent" in the way he listened and did as he was told and controlled his temper and frustrations.

the boy's been attending pre-school "camp" through the summer, which means going every other week for five days, versus the twice a week we had him enrolled with for school.

some time, during the first week, he had misbehaved so badly that, per our instructions, his teachers called us to take him home early. he did not return that week. nor did he make the next session two weeks later.

kris and i focused mightily on a few words of advice an expert told us in terms of ignoring his tantrums, but mostly we watched his diet.

having cut out the gluten, we zeroed in on food dyes -- and i know i sound like the kind of hippie earth people/overprotective parents i have been mocking for years -- and cut them out as best we could.

at some point, maybe even the day after we had to take the boy home from camp, we realized that a butter substitute we've been using employs a "natural food coloring" called annato that apparently wreaks even more havok with a child's behavior than any chemical dye could.

and the boy licks butter off his bread like it was his job.

so we cut that stuff out, too.

finally, after further observations, we returned to blood sugar and protein. we just began making sure he had something in his belly soon after he woke up and made sure it -- or something soon after -- was loaded with protein. and we made sure he kept eating every few hours after that.

and it almost goes without saying the naps and good nights of sleep went a long way to help.

lo and behold -- "lo" being after a couple of weeks -- he was keeping his shit together for days at a time. he even managed to stay the weekend at kris' folks place without waking up screaming in the middle of the night.

a lot of this might be his just growing out of his terrible twos -- and maybe it is -- but kris especially has been busting her ass to control the exterior variables and even controlling her own reactions to the boy's behavior so as not to add fuel to a tantrum.

and i'm going to say watching what the boy watched helped, too. the gentleness of fred rogers in old episodes of his show and his new pbs offspring in daniel tiger's neighborhood has gone a long way in providing lessons to help deal with the volatility that is a toddler's temperament.

all this goes into saying we have had to work very hard and use every tool at our disposal -- including the power of prayer -- to help this bright boy born with the fiery foibles of both his parents become the sweet child he can be.

let's see if we can keep up the good work. and the good weeks.

potty time

after, what, almost two years, the lessons are finally starting to stick. the boy's starting to use the can when he feels the need to go.

(today was a major backslide day, as he he pooped his drawers at least three times by my reckoning -- including the pool, which i did not discover until i was showering him off when we were done swimming. i'm going to call this an aberration and not a trend. i'm hoping for better tomorrow.)

we still have to be on him to ask and he works much better when he's bare-assed and can't hide his accidents and has incentive to run to the can.

i'm thinking now that he's past the novelty and euphoria of actually having a splashdown into the big potty, he's recognizing there's a bit of added work when making no. 2. i'm thinking he thinks it's easier to go in his underpants or pull-up trainers than it is to stop, run and go. he's got to be convinced otherwise.

deep breath here. process. it's all process.

but kris' reports from home that first time were priceless.

I am seriously so happy right now. The idea of not having to change his diapers anymore is almost incomprehensible.
— stuff kris sends (@textstogrumpnet) June 20, 2013

Also, he didn't go on the baby potty. He went on the regular toilet, which is even better. I feel like we should have bronzed the turds.
— stuff kris sends (@textstogrumpnet) June 20, 2013

we're not a month in yet and there's a long way to go, but it's progress.

aggressive parking

parkers, a photo by grumpnet on Flickr.

file under first world problems

three parking lot "confrontations" in two days. i'm going to have to call this "aggressive parking."

was lucky enough to have supper yesterday evening at the fat patty's restaurant in teays valley.

the boy was fairly well behaved after an afternoon at hurricane's amazing city water park. the girl was crazed from lack of a nap.

afterward, as we were loading them into the car, we became aware of a woman pointing her vehicle into our space.

we would learn as we drove off that there were parking spaces aplenty if she'd have driven around the building, but she apparently wanted the spot that did not require her to walk.

so she just sat there, waiting, making us feel uncomfortable ensuring that our children were securely buckled into their seats and while i tried to practice the courtesy of opening my wife's door for her as she entered the vehicle.

kris and i were a little unnerved that someone would want a parking space badly enough that it superseded common courtesy.

this woman was neither elderly nor handicapped. she apparently did not want to suffer inconvenience.

then today, after a rambunctious trip to the target store with two kids in tow, kris and i thought we'd made it to the safe haven of a non-parking space while we gathered up the excitable boy to hold onto the shopping cart more securely while we navigated the lot to the car.

it was at this point we became aware of the woman pointing her car into the vacant handicapped space behind us.

i suppose one car width was not enough to compensate for what she must have felt was her inadequate driving ability, because she waited until we were behind another car before she decided she was safe to pull in.

you'd think that would be enough parking drama for one lot, but you would be wrong.

kris was loading our haul into the back of the jeep and preparing to put the boy into his car seat.

carrying the baby, i opened my door and started the car to get the air conditioner started and to open the windows before putting the tot into the hot car.

it was then i became aware of the woman wanting to pull into the space directly next to our vehicle. never mind that she was already in a spot that would be considered parking. she had to have the spot between my car and the shopping cart corral.

the astonishing part was that a) she was a mother with a child in a car seat, so you'd think she would sympathize with the hassle of getting a kid buckled into a car and 2) she didn't seem to think twice about having her passenger side door open -- blocking my door -- and make me wait while she got out her gear.

we were far enough along the end of the row that there were a plethora of open spots. what drove her decisions and her sense of entitlement for her own convenience to trump our right to simply load our car is beyond me.

we need to start measuring iq when we administer driving tests. we've got too many lard-asses and fat-heads on the road these days.

Dad

Dad, a photo by grumpnet on Flickr.

happy day, dad. i thank the Lord that he has blessed us with the gift of you for another year and that he has blessed you with an abundance of health and a strong spirit. may the good Lord continue to bless you and thus bless us as well. amen and amen. we love you.

Via Flickr:
Birthday 77