outside voices

we ran a story in the paper today from the kansas city star. it was an epic piece about the mountain state's travails and the hopes that ride on its widely heralded football team.

the story was pure schmaltz, but like so much chicken fat, was easy to consume and gave great pleasure.

particularly during the college athletics calendar, i like trolling around the national news wires to see what other people say about my school, its sports teams and my state.

i thought i was the only person who did this, but apparently our managing editor does so too -- perhaps more intently, since he's always on the lookout for fodder to fill our paper that will draw readers.

our sports editor seems to take it as a personal affront that we would want to print sports-related stories that didn't originate from his reporting staff. as much as i love and admire him, i'm not so sure he appreciates the dynamic behind this thinking.

this isn't a case of something the Lord said about prophets not being welcome in their native land; it's kind of the opposite.

i accept what i read from our sports staff as good fact, wise observation and reasoned conjecture.

perhaps more pathetically, it's more like wanting to know what other people think of us. do they think we're overrated? do they think we're in a soft league? hell, do they like us?

from l.a. to d.c., i make my rounds looking for love, with the usual stops at espn, sports illustrated and the sporting news.

then come the concentric circles, scouting reports from, say, kalamazoo or detroit, to see what kind of respect (if any) we're being accorded. sometimes it's sweet (see the star); sometimes it's sour (see the sporting news).

yet i honestly don't know what looking in other people's mirrors can bring that i can't see on my own.

maybe it's the scientist in me, seeking as many viewpoints on my subject as possible before making my own conclusions.

it could be as simple as "do these pants make me look fat?" where i'm fishing for compliments.

or call it the rural inferiority complex seeking validation from our supposed betters in the big city.

i don't know if we'll ever outgrow it.

after all, l.a. will always be l.a., with all its glitz and prosperity for now and always.

and all the national championships in the world won't bring job one to a state mired in decline.

but maybe that's the point. maybe we want that thing to hang our hat on, the thing we can point at as our shining moment.

it could as simple as us wanting to feel good about ourselves.

brought to you by

i heard something i couldn't believe i was hearing on my favorite radio webcast from kfog in san francisco. (click the links to listen live. it's absolutely amazing stuff.)

it was mid-morning dj annalise extolling the virtues of her new lexus. it sounds like she must have gotten a great deal from her local lexus dealer in exchange for the on-air endorsement. (hell, it would amazing if she got the dang thing for free!)

i was disappointed a little to hear it, being the anti-capitalist hypocrite that i am, but as i started to write this, i suddenly remembered the plugs good ol' paul harvey gave (and still gives) for products during his commentary.

there was never anything untoward about it -- you figure the advertiser was paying top dollar for an on-air endorsement from him vs. a straight-up commercial. and it sure gave the impression of quality hearing it from such a trusted source.

maybe what bugged me was that a rock station -- and such a progressive commercial station at that -- lent its personality to a such a high-end means of transportation. maybe it's because i still cling to the quaint notion of rock music being the way your average joe fights the man -- and his fat luxury cars.

that having been said, i'm willing to bet that as well-regarded a radio personality as she is, annalise, like the rest of us working schlubs, sees sweet rides all over the place that we wish we could tool around in, but can't afford. well, here was her chance.

Lord knows, if such a deal existed for lifestyles columnists, i'm not so sure i'd say no.

which provides the convenient segueway ...

because i don't want to be the columnist who writes about the same thing two times in a row, let alone two times in a year, i'm writing this in the blog.

(weddings, family, personal experiences provide such great fodder for columns, don't they?)

kris and i are checking off the to-do list to get ready for the wedding next year. last friday we went to sign a contract for our reception space.

(the fact of any reception at all posed a dilemma for my fiancee. as she mulled the cost, kris figured it would be about the same as a good chunk of what could be, say, a dining room addition to my humble home.)

anyhow, as we discussed the contract with the booking lady, we were trying to determine if we could get around their catering clause about outside food -- in this case, a roasted pig that a family friend would prepare for us, filipino style.

i mentioned that, as a family friend, my uncle mario might try to offer it as a gift to us. this led us to wonder who else we could invite who could pay for -- or sponsor -- other costs of our reception.

things quickly got out of hand, as evidenced by:

"the wise-maramba nuptials, presented by carper, bee & deitzler" (kris used to cover county commission, of which attorney kent carper is a member.)

"the gregory t. harvey dds first kiss" father john sez: "by the power vested in me by the diocese of wheeling-charleston -- and brought to you by the whiter teeth and fresher breath from a visit to dr. greg harvey (he caters to cowards) -- i now declare you man and wife. you may kiss the bride." (i've known greg since junior high.)

"the cake cutting ceremony -- sweetness by dutchess bakery" as underwriter of the reception, though, carper, bee & deitzler get dibs on having their logo emblazoned on the cake rather than the traditional bride and groom figurines.

"the first dance: steppin' out with west virginia radio corporation" owner of adult contemporary, oldies and sports talk stations gets the party moving -- complete with wvu sports scores.

and finally ...

"love lexus of st. albans presents the honeymoon getaway" just because it would be nice to leave town in a sweet lexus convertible coupe. (plus they probably saved my job.)

how's that for coming full circle?

by the way, this entire blog entry comes courtesy of a new link i got from lola's pizza. as i've said before, it's got the most imaginative menu of pizzas and salads i've had the pleasure to experience. great wine list to pair with, too. i've got 'em on speed dial: 304.343.lola. a fresh, intimate dining experience.

(and, no, i don't get a free pizza for writing that.)

the privilege of higher education

kris showed me a story from the los angeles times about swanky college dorms.

wow. now, more than ever, this is going to show where i cross over to the other side of the generation gap.

when did higher education become synonymous with resort living? seriously, check out the slide show that goes with the story. i don't think i'm going to be spending my honeymoon in places so well-appointed.

i understand the competition for students is fierce and that every edge counts to snag that prospect's tuition dollar.

but my understanding of the purpose of college was to provide a universal education and to prepare its graduates for life in the real world.

this just seems to be another extension of high school, where mommy and daddy's money will serve to set you apart from classmates you can't outshine with brains, talent or skill.

and exactly what kind of aspirations is four years of cushy living supposed to instill in a maturing adult? a desire to seek comfort and convenience above all?

i am all for raising expectations and helping young people seek a better life. but what this seems to confuse is the acquisition of things with improving one's station.

yes, you can get great toys when rise up in tax bracket. (and i'll be the first to tell you that luxuries both great and small are gratifying and sweet.)

but isn't our culture already saturated enough in the worship of mammon without having to turn what should be the most carefree time in adult life into a twentysomething version of keeping up with the jones'?

there already exists a divide between those who can pursue higher education and those who can't.

and within the college ranks, prejudices exist between supporters of state and private schools as well as between greeks and non-greeks.

do we need to subdivide within dormitory living as well?

the roots of the word "college" are from the latin words meaning "to gather." but as schools rush headlong for the student dollar, "college" may even more so become just another word for "separate."

maybe ignorance is bliss

the big "duh" moment came this morning while trolling myspace.

i thought to myself, i haven't had any notices that my buddy jacque had updated her blog. wonder why she hasn't written?

then it occurred to me -- ah, she's got that new site -- right here on blogger.com.

and sho' nuff, there she was. she calls it "and then out loud, i said ..." which is perfect. this girl, somehow, some way, by some gift from God, can speak her mind in a way that is frank and funny without being insulting.

if anyone can claim to "tell it like it is," it is her. no color, except those times she tells what color she's using.

anyway, her latest entry tells of the interesting stats she racks up using her blog's site meter -- who, where, when, how often. it was fascinating.

of course, then i wanted some stats of my own. on the myspace, there's little feature showing you how many views your blog gets, which is kind of gratifying and reassuring to let you know that people are at least clicking on it.

(of course, if you're just writing to share or throw your thoughts out, why should you care if anyone's looking? i mean, it's not like you're getting paid per view. i'm suspicious of the part of me that likes personal journal writing, then wants everyone to peek at it.)

so after some clicking and copying and pasting, i can get a record of the kind of traffic this blog generates. why does it worry me that this could become very depressing if i find i'm shouting into a void?

this could, however, answer the whole tree falling in the woods thing. so does this make the answer "yes?"

outside looking in

kris and i just had dinner with our friends, jeff and sara, who wanted to congratulate us on our engagement. we knew jeff from when he was daily mail assistant city editor; sara is married to jeff.

dinner conversation mostly centered on kris and me -- the story of how i popped the question, how i presented her with the ring, remembering how long we'd been dating, wedding plans, etc.

one of the things i noticed as we related tales and just talked in general was how genuinely happy they seemed for us. that seems to be the general sentiment we get from those who've known us both.

now kris and i, we know why we're with each other, in that intangible way that you just know. all the same, though, sitting and talking sweet talk, we wonder aloud why we like each other, how we get along so well.

for some reason, you want a laundry list, an objective, concrete compilation of reasons and attributes to explain why the relationship works.

we never actually get around to compiling such a thing, partly out of changes in the conversation's dynamic or topic and maybe partly out of desire not to vivisect a good thing.

oddly, you do get a list from your friends when they express their happiness for you -- how they could all see why it made perfectly good sense that it would work and why it was meant to be.

somewhere, in their assessment of either knowing your personalities or watching you as a couple, they can enumerate the things that make the relationship tick, why it made sense to them.

i should start making note of what others saw in us that made them believe it would lead to a real, life commitment.

but judging from what we've heard from friends and family so far, the reasons they've observed from the outside seem to be more astute and objective than anything we've come up with from within.

seriously -- i don't think we've ever gotten past "cute," "smart" and "good kisser."

check out the links

just a briefy here. i've only got a handful of links to go to, but they're to the blogs of friends with interests in politics, photography and parenting.

one, disgruntled housewife, is the first blog i ever saw that had it all together -- journal, commentary, funny links, pix -- and the one i remember best from about 10 years ago. she's still going strong. even has advertising now.

at the time i first went there, i only knew these as "personal homepages" -- a daunting name for someone trying to create content. (me.) web log seems so much more manageable. and so i'm here.

the other two links are just personal -- my other blog and a portfolio of my newspaper design work. easy. biographical, kind of.

click away when you're really bored.

my precious

this is ostensibly the genesis of a column about the amazing powers of the engagement ring. but today, three days after the fact, i'll keep it simple: i gave my girl kris an engagement ring.

i actually proposed to her on the first of july at a sunday afternoon picnic. it was just her and me at danner meadow park out in fort hill. i was on my back, my head in her lap, staring up into the clouds, talking marriage in general when she asked when i was finally going to propose. i answered, "why not now?" and then asked her to marry me.

(she first had to ask "are you serious?")

so, for the better part of a month, i made three secret trips to the jewelry store, one a week, i think, beginning the week after i proposed. all the while, we remained silent about our engagement because i said people would want to see a ring if we announced it. (meanwhile, from her perspective, my apparent lack of action on the jewelry front made kris figure my proposal was dying on the vine.)

i decided the annual family trip to the beach would be the best time to announce and present the ring that had been burning a hole in my pocket since the last week of july. of course, it took until the last hours of the last day we were all there that i finally found the opening i needed.

she wept, my sisters, sister-in-law and mom wept -- and i got to eat five cheeseburgers in the ensuing 24 hours. (an all-time record that likely may never be broken, given kris' fanatical desire to control my diet. health reasons and all that.)

anyhow, that's the mostly non-appended story of the ring thus far. after spending the after-dinner hour last night mulling guest list and to-do's, i'm only now beginning to grasp the enormity of the machine this little piece of jewelry has set into motion. i just hope it doesn't crush us in the process.

ten years later

(or more like 11 or 12) i think i first coined the term "grumpnet" on a rainy walk with my brother's dogs, schnapps and hogan.

as pet owners are wont to do, i spoke to mine, invariably coining nicknames on the fly. one nickname i had for schnapps was "grump," because of his grumpy old man face (he was a miniature schnauzer with a great, bushy beard), as well as his demeanor, especially when newcomer hogan came along.

long story short, a handful of "grump" variations cropped up in our many walks. grump. grumpus. and this one. (not long after i got online.)

i actually owned the domain name for about four years, but didn't have a site. i believe i was what they called a "cyber-squatter." i wasn't being greedy; i just didn't have the know-how or the compunction to learn how to create a web site.

now it's been done for me.

luckily, some site called "grumpnet.org" came into being while i still owned the rights to grumpnet.com. after at least a two-year expiration, the name is mine again -- along with an honest-to-God web site.

i've got a blog on myspace already. this one may become sort of the development league before things move onto the other one. (or it may supercede it; who knows?) until it does, this will be the single a league to the myspace aaa league that might lead to publication in the daily mail.

let's see how this works. hope its fun.