bandwidths

i wore three wristbands this summer. two were for fun; the other after a brush with death. 

'congratulations, daddy'

"you got your job back."

day 1

the day is a blur, but the joy was clear.

a collection of quotes and notes is going to have to suffice to document the boy's first day:

"can i put my arm around him?"

— the girl, as we took pictures

"this is the greatest day ever. ... no one in the neighborhood even knows i'm starting kindergarten."

— the boy, as we drove up the street

"hold my hand ... squeeze it tight."

— the boy, reaching out to his sister in the car

"i'm so excited."

— the boy, as we walked to the school

and after we dropped him off:

• he held my hand until we got near his classroom. then he dropped it. 
• driving away, it was strange having just three in the car. the girl chattered a bit but there was no nonstop narrative of his observations. 
• entering the house, it was quiet. no great galumphing of feet and noise. just tiny baby footfalls. 

and afterward, as reported from kris: 

Mark it: 10:01 am. (Baby) just said, 'mommy, i miss (the boy).'

weepy

marvel #1

don't know why this feels like a milestone. it's just kindergarten, after all.

maybe it's because, with a six-hour school day, he'll officially be on the treadmill he'll be walking for the next 13 years.

and my boy's days will belong to the public school system from here on out instead of me and him. i'll have to let that one go.

he and his sister haven't quite grasped that they won't be spending their days together anymore, either. one or the other or both believe they'll be sharing the same space somehow.

my sweet baby girl has left in his lunchbox a little picture she drew of him so he'd think of her on his first day. he already says he's going to miss us.

they even sang songs with each other about his starting kindergarten. (it was a familiar tune that i can't remember just now.) addendum 14 august 2015: "kindergarten, here we come," to tune of "there's a tavern in the town."

he's really excited. he's got new shoes from his uncle and a new shirt from his lola. (it's black with silvery silk screens of rockets and space shuttles.)

we'll see if this charismatic pied piper sway his mom says he holds over his peers is for real or if he's just been a big fish in a little pond.

we'll also see if his sensitivity to slights and meanness and jealousies can roll off his back and he can talk himself back up or have a high enough opinion of himself that he'll be protected by confidence.

so many questions. so many concerns.

but for now, i'll settle for his learning to tie his shoes and properly clean himself after using the potty.

in a blink

cousins

this was probably the fastest beach trip i can remember. doesn't feel like a week went by, but i can remember almost every moment, which at the time seemed like it had its own eternity. not sure if i sat still long enough to savor them.

i can remember sitting in an inner tube with the boy. zipping down a water slide with the girl. helping mom and dad into and out of cars. commiserating with my sibs. kissing my wife good morning and good night.

i think it was because it was such a sprint from moment to moment, always looking forward (work situation notwithstanding) that it was difficult to exist in any one moment to embrace and wonder in it. it wasn't impossible, as i did allow myself to recognize and bask in the contented enjoyment of being father to two young children, but by that same token, their hands and feet move as fast as their minds, so i had a lot of anticipating to do.

this is the collection of memories that the kids are gathering. the girl is finally learning to enjoy being the center of attention, as well as exercise her considerable charms. and our animated cartoon of a boy is the perfect age for every promise of adventure, be it pirate dinner theatre or action figure scenarios with batman and the incredible hulk.

the trip began and ended with a visit to the weirdly managed wytheville, va., mcdonalds, where the kids, oddly enough, got actual girls and boys happy meal toys (the boy got a joker and a batman; the girl got a "monster high" bracelet and magic static sticker mirror). in between was a lavishing of activity, attention and love from the family.

as ever, i am grateful to mom and dad who continue to help make our children's lives richer and filled with the dreams of childhood.

looking back

waiting for supper

picking up on a lost thread re the boy's sensitive nature: we met with our old friends carrie and george and their children for supper. and they got along swimmingly, like a juvenile street gang. carrie's girl, the boy's first real buddy, is now 8 and george's boy, who ours doesn't really remember meeting years ago, is now 6, so there's a bit of separation in terms of temperament and maturity — more so for the former, but even a tad for the latter.

we arrived at the restaurant armed with a pad of paper and crayons, while theirs had their trusty tablets, which our monkeys eventually gravitated to watch. but they remained a self-contained unit at their own corner table, eating their meals and occasionally swinging by to visit ours.

after supper, we reconvened at george's, which allowed the grownups time to chat for a spell about what's been going down at work and the vagaries of parenthood as the kids played in george's boy's bedroom.

eventually, bedtime arrived for george's and carrie's new babies and things wound down. the kids said their goodbyes and we headed home. the boy seemed downcast on the car ride home; apparently, the older kids didn't take their attention away from george's cat when he bade them farewell. i guess he wanted more fussing than their just saying goodbye.

he was like that last month at dad's july 4 birthday dinner when his older cousins who normally dote on him chose to keep company with their classmates who were of their age. as the youngest of the cousins, he couldn't keep up with their play and they weren't much interested in his, so he felt a little stung. i told him he should remember that when he gets older to pay attention to little kids who want to play, too. even at that age, being young isn't all fun and games — as attention span increases, so does cognizance and the desire to maintain it. such is life.

friday afternoon.

also — yesterday's haircuts downtown with mr. ted marked probably the last friday for the boy and me together. with his start of school soon and a potential change in my work schedule to a straight monday through friday, our days of regularly bopping around town on my day off are likely over.

i'm a bit sad, as it was a neat, weekly ritual that i apparently grew to take for granted. i probably didn't recognize it happening, but these little adventures and errands became one of my favorite things about being a dad, these moments sharing time, he and i. i hope he comes to look fondly on them, too.