the traditional end of the year post

life ledger since 2008. not sure what volume this is.

been pretty steady on my annual new year's resolutions list -- only been making good on one lately. you can guess which.

but my paper journal opens in 2008 and i don't think i'm halfway through it, given i only really log stuff too sensitive to make public, which, as you can see, isn't much.

but the resolutions are the same as last year:

• pray -- meditate when possible
• get fit -- eat better and start exercising regularly again
• get finances in order -- for retirement and college
• throw shit away -- give yourself room to breathe in this cozy house

my only big plan, aside from focusing on the kids and being the best i can be for the missus, is getting the roof and gutters done next year.

and, as ever, thanks and praise to God, from whom all our countless blessings flow. may we be with you as you are with us. amen and amen.

holiday blues

charleston city lights

bums me out every year once the city starts taking down its holiday decorations.

they're simple, really -- wreathes of artificial holly festooned  with a bow and encircled with a string of lights. 

watching them spring up right around thanksgiving always picks me up and fills me with a child-like sense of anticipation. 

seeing them through the run-up to christmas are reminders sure as advent candles that something good is coming. 

having them lit even after the big day makes me hopeful because new years is coming and the holiday vibe can linger on. 

but the city may have already stopped lighting the wreathes, which means the holidays are already over. 

(it doesn't help that i've been preoccupied the whole time with some major work projects that already had me at a slight remove from the whole season anyway. well, that, and the emotionally draining vagaries of being a parent to a preschooler and a toddler -- but that also comes with its own reward.)

i love the high of christmastide and always feel abandoned and bereft when it subsides. 

i think it's the suddenness of the end that makes me sad. 

the holidays arrive like a slowly rising tide, but then get shut off like a faucet when they're over. 

i wish their departure were as leisurely as their arrival, so we could be weaned gradually into the cold gray months with the memory of their warmth still intact. 

test

i predict tom hindman will wear a red jacket on wednesday 5 march 2014.

get out of jail free card

Christmas 2013, a photo by grumpnet on Flickr.

got a great deal on a kitchenaid mixer for kris.

she was pissed for about three minutes.

then she was happy.

the big day

thomas the tank engine blue mountain mine train set.

well, it finally arrived, and not a moment too soon.

the boy was about to go blind christmas eve from trying to keep it together for one day -- because for the previous, oh, seven or so, he had been a holy terror. really bad timing on his part.

but it seemed to be the consensus that despite our prescribed punishment of a month without toys for extreme violence, we could not take christmas away from a child.

after a week where fevers, stomach bugs and his sister's birthday were ladled atop a general mandate "to be good for goodness sake," the boy might have been suffering from what my mom said was maybe regulatory overload. that's a lot of pressure for a 3-year-old, she said.

so we made clear to him that he had one last chance to get on the "nice" list after a bad start to christmas eve.

as i walked away from the over-hyped bundle of ailments and three-ness, having given him a final, plaintive directive, i told kris, "the only positive lesson to be drawn from this is that forgiveness can still be found in one's final moments" -- and, as far as the boy' chance at redemptive behavior was concerned, christmas eve was his.

and i don't know if it was his knowing the stakes involved or a second straight day without gluten, but he held his temper in check, voiced his distress and disagreements in a civil tone and laid it on thick with niceness to his mother and sister for the day.

so we were primed for him to have a good christmas morning, even after a rough night of sleep -- muscle aches (?) and a wet bed.

strangely for us, not only did he not arise before the sun, as had become a distressing development lately, but he actually didn't get out of bed until two hours after the cut-off time for sending him back to bed. (i.e., he slept until past 8 a.m., which was a christmas miracle.)

the number of gifts were few -- unlike last year -- but they were things he really wanted: a buzz lightyear doll and an octonauts octopod. (he also got a sheriff woody doll and a thomas the tank engine train set.)

baby and woody.

bummer was, baby did not seem to appreciate the analogue gifts -- a fisher-price family house and doc mcstuffins doll -- in the way kris hoped. the girl really had her eyes on the buzz lightyear and the octopod. so there was that.

breakfast with his new buddy, buzz.

after mommy and daddy spent the day noshing on spinach bacon quiche, a salmon cheese ball and mimosas before sangria and supper (a nice, long, alcohol-infused day), the boy, who had alternated sharing grudgingly and graciously his toys with his sister, said to me: "daddy, this is my greatest christmas day ever. thank you."

and he repeated it to his mom. again, we are fully prepared for the backslide -- to the point of devising changes in strategy and tactics -- but hearing spontaneous and seemingly genuine gratitude from the little monkey was gift enough for me today.

God bless us every one.

the boy

the boy at the mall. overall, an agreeable little boy.

kris had a rare few hours away from the children this morning. alas, rather than enjoying it with friends or reading a book in a coffee shop, she was at a walmart grocery and christmas shopping. (for there being only 10 days until christmas, she was surprised at how un-crazy it was.)

so i had the kids. i spent the first two hours in and out of of sleep on the couch working out the remains of last night's sleeping pills. i opened my eyes only long enough to start new videos.

the next two were spent on a cup of tea, sneaking peeks at the paper, folding laundry and attempting damage control on a boy whose sleep was punctuated on the hour with screaming fits from what i guess were fever dreams. he was not well-rested.

after an ill-conceived idea to have him help clean up his toys in advance of his mother coming home and the two making brownies, i put him, bawling, into time-out.

after a moment later where i snatched a sleeve of bubble-like wrap from him for stomping on it, i realized i was being cranky and unreasonable.

the boy was sick and he was sleep-deprived. all things considered, he was handling himself rather well, playing by himself and with his sister.

boy draws a person. mostly on purpose.

i decided to lay off.

the day before, i took him to the library and the mall while we waited on a new set of tires for the car. he was exceedingly polite and well-mannered with a little boy he met at the library who was the son of a friend.

i forget the things he is capable of and his genuine sweetness and oddball humor and creativity. i told a friend the other day and kris today that i think i expect too much out of a three-year-old.

i look at him and his handsome head and his bony little frame and i realize i'm blessed to have a healthy, happy and smart little boy. i should be more grateful.

thank you, Lord. and please continue to bless him, his sister and his mama and papa.

advent

charleston christmas parade. saturday 7 december 2013.
hoppy's christmas train.

up in the middle of the night for the first time in about a month on the second night of not taking sleeping pills to ensure i stay knocked out.

huffing and chuffing, as the "thomas the tank engine" narrator would say, through the holiday season working on a major project for the paper that is probably costing me sleep.

just sort of a status update:

the babies are becoming children. and not bad ones at that, though kris might say otherwise at times.

the boy, oddly enough, is improving at taking punishment -- sitting in place for time-outs, understanding that backtalk leads to a vinegar spritz -- in a way that kris and i should not have expected him to a year ago.

the girl is ahead of schedule on her terrible twos, as the boy was, so we're going to have some fun.

sign that it was time to go back to the hotel. thanksgiving 2013.

this week, kris began weaning her off the bedtime binky while simultaneously cutting off the boy's sippy cup of milk that he'd take to bed with him.

both were highly pissed off and loudly and demonstrably made known their displeasure for the disruption of their routines on sunday night -- both changes at the same time! -- but kris rode them out.

it's quieter tonight, but it's still early in the effort.

meantime, the kids are really getting into their holidays this year.

the boy some time this summer discovered the department store toy section as a destination stop where he didn't used to in previous shopping trips with daddy.

the baby is still happy to come along for the ride with him as cohort in whatever big brother is doing -- and nemesis if it happens to involve singular property that both want to use. (not so good at sharing at 23 months.)

she is beginning to dig carbohydrates and sugar to the exclusion of protein, which is disappointing, but cute as she really digs hot cocoa now.

that they're beginning to form a bond makes kris and me happy -- and also kind of makes us want to have another kid to share the love. (we're really fighting that one.)

pic.twitter.com/p46Pkv33Ii
— stuff kris sends (@textstogrumpnet) December 5, 2013

they're both growing adept at playing together and the boy, especially, is getting better at occupying himself alone. (a lot less "daddy, will you play with me?" i just now realize. gonna miss hearing that, i think.)

anyway, it's getting late. here's the boy picking what he wants from the target toy circular a few weeks ago: