nuts

after apparently growing tired of me handing him pistachio nuts, the boy decided he was going to shell them himself.

and he did. (daddy segregated the difficult to open shells.)

a deuce

that's two relatively good days in a row now.

the boy's getting better at playing with the girl.

his tolerance for her is increasing, even if only in second-to-second increments. (it also helps when there are fewer toys around to fight over or dioramas to rearrange.) they are definitely getting some jollies making each other laugh.

got to go to the clay center for family fun day -- and wound up spending most of it in a neat, hands-on kids exhibit, "little builders," -- "build, imagine and be creative in this hands-on construction exhibit!" -- that exposed the children to the nuts and bolts of the construction business.

but first, someone had to take a nap.

he was so amped to leave, that mommy had to take the unconventional tack of lying down with him to get him to lie still. it didn't look promising after a few tries and 45 minutes. but after his last chance, as she told him, we had to force him awake before the place closed.

the boy had a blast playing with toy cranes, conveyor belts, hammers and paint rollers, and the girl was just happy to walk around and not have toys snatched from her.

a quick swing by the kroger store for some dinner and breakfast food -- the boy insisted on accompanying his mama and made good on his promise to behave. (we suspect his behavior was entirely predicated on the promise of ice cream if he both behaved in the store and ate all his supper when he got home. turned out to be amazing motivation.)

once again, i will thank the Lord for some exceptionally vigilant guardian angels keeping watch over both our small people today.

happy hour

there's nothing all that special about friday's front page, aside from a neat story about a singing walmart cashier and a funny story about march madness and vasectomy planning.

i updated the "skybox promo," as the folks in the business call those illustrations above the nameplate, from a lifestyles story, which you see here, to one about a new assistant coach at west virginia university, which kept me in the newsroom about an extra 30 minutes.

what was unusual was heading out to an old east end haunt to have a beer afterward with a few of my colleagues.

stuff like that didn't used to be so unusual, especially when we kept a morning publication schedule and reporters and copy editors could all be out in time for happy hour and sometimes, supper.

as our copy desk changed, i was often the only copy editor who'd show up to hang out with the reporters, what with several of us being married or in committed relationships or other social circles, so an appearance by me was oftentimes like being a special guest. (this changed somewhat after kris and i started hanging out and then dating.)

this was an even more regular occurrence when i worked in charley south. we had a young copy desk and a lively downtown after hours. late nights were about a weekly norm.

then kris and i returned home and got married; and then the publication cycle turned upside down. free evenings became a thing of the past. and once the kids came along, well, if after-work socializing wasn't sunk, it had definitely been torpedoed.

a rare outing with  the dm copy desk

then a new crop of reporters and editors came along and a small divide formed. the social mix had separated.

so it was kind of nice to be invited, apropos of nothing, to sit with a couple of reporters and editors, enjoy a beverage and shoot the proverbial bull.

i was hesitant at first, but figured one beer wouldn't hurt, and after a relatively easy week preceded by two grueling ones, i figured it would be a good time to blow off some steam. (plus, i didn't want to be "that guy." while i feel the need to be a responsible social butterfly, i'm still a social butterfly at heart.)

it lasted just about an hour, so i was at home at a reasonable newspaper time, but it was fun. i felt like sort of the young uncle to "the kids."

they'd all worked with or knew kris and wanted to spend some time with her, too. i told them that she and i were starting to recognize the need for a few nights without the children and that maybe there'd be better chance of it in the future. who knows?

what used to be a habit is now a treat. i'm kind of looking forward to it.

just one of those days

tonight's supper

the boy briefly lost television privileges today.

and i think that's about as bad as it got. (well, aside from being something of a disobedient and embarrassing monkey at the library with his mama.)

he mostly was either able to play on his own or more or less gently with his sister. there was a blissful minute where the two were both drumming on empty diaper boxes in his bedroom, which was sweet. then she started knocking down his box "castle" and it went downhill from there.

there was also an incident later in the day, where he "accidentally" threw one of the boxes at her and lost tv until he apologized.

i was able to do about three loads of laundry and get a lot of it put away. kris was able to take the baby to the bookstore for some girl time.

the boy ate most of his lunch and all of his dinner -- and then some. the girl was happy with a fish lunch and lamb kebab supper. the two of them watched a few episodes of "little einsteins" together.

then, bed for the girl, a couple of story books for the boy, then bedtime for him.

i ordered pizza from old, reliable husson's and picked up a six pack of beck's dark on the way back with the pizza.

kris popped in a dvd of "friends with kids" at the library on recommendation from a friend. we watched on our tiny tv as we ate. our version of date night.

it wasn't a bad flick -- rough start, unbelievably tidy ending -- but entertaining. made me grateful for my family. (sad, though, that i was watching cues from a movie toddler for signs that our boy is "normal." he seems to be. i guess.)

all in all, a good day. productive. full of love. grateful for my beautiful wife. paid special attention to just looking at my children and holding them -- soaking in their tininess even as they seem to be growing before our very eyes.

space helmets for the boy's rocket ship

i'm just trying to capture this now to remember 10, 15, 20 years down the line when they'll be young adults and this crazy, exhausting whirlwind of a childhood is but a sweet, faded memory.

first of all, i say thanks be to God for my wonderful life. and, second, i pray the good Lord will continue to watch over, protect and bless us that i may see these days -- and more -- for they are so very sweet.

mind the language

tuesday may have marked the end of one of my favorite constructions the boy employs.

in the past, whenever he wanted to be picked up, he'd raise his hands and say, "carry me, you."

this time around, he said, on separate occasions, "pick me up," and "you carry me."

losing endearing toddler syntax: the price of progress.

on the other hand, as he was zooming back and forth in our living room and around our little house, he also provided a new narrative for his manic, whirlwind footfalls, as he uttered for the first time: "it's super-(me)!"

let's just hope he keeps the flying to a minimum.

a sad connection

regrets. we all get them. i think the boy got his first sunday.

he trucked out the cover for a "thomas the tank engine" dvd collection my mom got him and started looking around the box.

he pointed to a tiny promo in the corner for a bonus map included with the set that featured landmarks from the railway's fictional island of sodor. (it was a map not unlike the one featured above. btw, the bbc wrote up a nice story about where it might be located in real life.)

maybe he was half-hoping there was another map in there because he'd torn up the one that came with the discs in a grand, sweeping moment of pique a few weeks ago.

his mama said it was ripped into three pieces but she wasn't about to tape it up after the tantrum he'd thrown. (it had to have taken some effort, because the map was above his bed and he had to go up to get at it.)

you can see his map up on his wall.

i explained to him that when he destroyed his map, we didn't have another to replace it.

you could see the realization dawning on him that what he'd done couldn't be undone. his eyes welled up with tears and he began to cry.

i'm not sure what kind of impression it made on him, whether my advice that he shouldn't destroy things in anger sunk in or if he'll recognize in the future that when his frustration rises he should curb any impulse toward ruination.

this is the first time i'd seen something like this in the boy, so maybe, just maybe his brain just got hardwired for "regret."

i can only hope that while he may grow up to have a few, as mr. sinatra sang, that he'll  have too few to mention.

leaps and bounds

so this happens today:

building a castle & he made a bridge. i said, 'That's ... cool.' he goes, 'yeah, daddy's going to be proud of me.' where does he get this?
— stuff kris sends (@textstogrumpnet) February 18, 2013

which made my heart swell for the second day in a row and was obviously a set-up for later, but still....

we've been trying to be as equal on the praise as we are on the correction, and all i can guess is i've used the term "we're very proud of you" enough times for him to have made the association and recognized its context.

and after thinking all that, yeah, i still smiled.

she said it

baby ready for a visit to gaga.

kris just finished changing baby's diaper this afternoon as the boy and i were putting together a new city.

she and the girl were leaving the room when baby looked at me and said, plain as day, "hi, dahdee."

kris said i should have seen my expression. i'll say it must have been both stunned and happy, not unlike a perma-grin, i bet, but i'd have liked to have seen it, too.

mama is now patiently waiting her turn.

for the record

baby's been walking as her means of ambulating for a couple of weeks now, rarely crawling anymore, even if she wants to move quickly.

(she was trying to keep up with the boy as he was running back and forth in the house by leaning as far forward as she could with her little frankenstein gait.)

and she loves our phones. every time i hand her mine to play with, she holds it next to her head and converses. i could swear today she was saying something that sounded like "hello."

(putting her on speaker phone with my mom, though, apparently makes her clam up. she wouldn't even touch the phone for the first half of my conversation with her lola.)

and she's starting to fight back for her toys now. or cry. whichever brings mommy and daddy to intervene.

and the boy? he's slowly getting that cause and effect thing down. kris says he actually stopped himself from a tantrum this afternoon. (he's recognizing "if i misbehave, my trains get taken away from me." consequences!)

on the brain development front, for some of his favorite books, he's got whole passages memorized. and now he's remembering song lyrics.

first glimpse of the boy as teen vegging out.

for as long as he'd been actively watching television, he was always good for getting the last words of song lines; now he's singing entire songs.

and he can apparently transpose them situationally.

he's currently enamored with the "bob the builder" series, whose theme show chorus goes "bob the builder/can we fix it?/bob the builder/yes we can!"

not long after he got a farm-themed building block set, complete with tiny figurines, he picked up the farmer and, as he searched for spot in which to place him, began singing "bob the farmer/can he get into the barn?"

but as his memory improves, so has his receptiveness.

i sing him a song and he begins to pick up lyrics. high on his list of favorites is the "thomas the tank engine" theme song, the chorus of which i've got memorized, and which is steadily coming together for him.

we've watched enough videos that they can become a bit wearying for kris and me -- and, truth be told, some of the music on the show can be pretty awful -- and, to distract from their inanity, i've come up with naughty versions of the roll call verse naming his friends on the railway.

i used to be able to count on his not remembering what i said so long as he recognized the names i was calling out, but now that's going to have to end.

wiring issues

the apparently anxious snowman.

i'm beginning to believe more and more that aberrant -- and sometimes abhorrent -- behavior on the boy's part arises from more and more links making connections in his brain.

the result is that the horizons of his consciousness get pushed beyond what he used to know.

it's like, one day -- or minute -- he's in a cozy, comfortable room, then suddenly, he's in the middle of open space with endless vistas and he's all at once exposed and lost. so maybe that's why he freaks out and goes off the rails.

latest round of upgrades: empathy.

we made a snowman sunday and when he saw the expression i put on its face, he asked, "what's wrong?"

(some time before we finished making said snowman, he pulled up a section of snow and found an earthworm writhing on the cold, damp patch of lawn that was exposed. he said, "oh!" and seemed visibly disturbed by its wriggling.)

later that day, when kris took the kids to visit a friend, she slipped and bounced a ways down some stairs. this upset him greatly and he was inconsolable for about 15 minutes.

he himself had taken a header off his changing table the night before, which bloodied his nose gave him a fat lip. kris nearly hyperventilated she was so upset.

at bedtime the day of kris' missteps, she reminded the boy he should be careful on the changing table so he doesn't fall off again. the night before, she said, his tumble scared her very much.

"i was scared on the stairs," he replied, explaining his tears when his mama nearly fell down the stairs.

every day, a new connection.

telephone

a previous sticker montage.

had my first real phone call with the boy yesterday -- one where he actually spoke to me, rather than staring at the phone and yelling from a distance later.

i couldn't quite make out what he was talking about -- i remember something about a baseball -- but kris informed me he was describing an arrangement of stickers he had put together, so i was missing the visual element.

he sounded very enthused and matter-of-fact, like a happy artist making his presentation. i wished i could record the sound of his wee voice nattering on without pause.

dancing machine

the boy had a good time at last year's christmas party.

so kris goes to pick up the boy from preschool and his teacher tells her what he had done.

she was playing some music for the class and the kids were bouncing around when the boy walked up to a pretty classmate and asked her, "will you dance with me?"

and she did.

he will go far in life if he can maintain this brave confidence.