countdown to kickoff

ok, here's what's weird. here we are, at t-minus 6 days before west virginia university kicks off against marshall, and i think i've already had my fill of reading about the mountaineers.

up until maybe three weeks ago, i couldn't get enough preview stories and predictions for the upcoming football season.

now, meh.

it probably started with the hard-working pre-snap read overview that placed us at no. 21.

before that, espn, sports illustrated and the sporting news had weighed in.

and near the start of the month, the smoking musket wvu blog began posting daily again.

this, on top of a steady diet of mike casazza's blog updates that are as dependable and brilliant as the sunrise.

now ... i'm just full.

we're past the previews, past camp and into game-week preparation. now it's just navel-gazing and gossip.

maybe it's the birth of our baby girl in about four months and recognizing there's so much work to be done in the house.

i'm actually going to a number of games this year and these fall weekends are going to be crucial for preparation.

we have to get moving.

the time for planning and prognosticating is over.

i'm tired of reading and fretting. it's time to tee up the ball.

grasping at air

this pic was shot about a month ago at the local playground, inside an inclined, tube-like contraption on the jungle gym that leads from one level to the next.

from the first time we set him loose at the park, he'd make his way into the tube and crawl about.

for most of the spring and summer, he'd only make it about halfway up before skittering down, unable to combine the amount of strength and traction necessary to make it up the other side.

by the time i shot this, he'd made it up all the way probably no more than three times out of the dozen or so visits we'd made.

today, kris took him to the playground and let him run about and he crawled up into the tube.

because he was wearing long pants, instead of shorts, he wasn't able to dig his knees in to scoot up, so he kept slipping down before he could crawl to the upper level.

the boy began beseeching "plee, plee" ("please, please" -- yeah, also new to the vocabulary) to no one in particular to make it the rest of the way.

kris heard his pathetic imploring and climbed her 5-months-pregnant self up the ladder to help him over. (i hope she refrains from doing this in future visits.)

the heartbreak from the boy doesn't end there, though.

kris also informs me that today, when he came across the timbers that held back the mulch surrounding the play equipment, he didn't wait and raise his hand so mommy could hold on as he's been doing when approaching steps.

he walked to the edge of the play area, waited for kris and began the motion as if he were going to raise his hand.

then he stopped and stepped downward on his own.

after a slight wobble, he righted himself -- and didn't wait for mommy's hand for any more steps that afternoon.

all this in a month. he's already beginning to shed his need for us.

everyone told us the time would fly. still, it's bewildering how our moments are barely upon us before they are gone.

don't go too far just yet, baby boy. stay a baby with us just a little longer before you become all boy.

get the yoke

there's a little tradition in filipino wedding ceremonies in which an intertwined cord is laid on the shoulders of the bride and groom.

it is supposed to symbolize the yoke shared by husband and wife in the course of married life, where together they bear their burdens.

while i knew what it conveyed as a sentiment, today may have been the first time it hit home as a practical reality.

the boy in the picture woke up early today, not long after his pregnant mama.

the cat had awakened both kris and me numerous times with loud, long fits of meowing.

i was a little tired from helping a friend move her mom's belongings to a new house on saturday.

combined with an extended vacation sleep deficit hangover, and, well, it wasn't a pleasant morning for daddy.

i sat exhausted on the couch and actually uttered the phrase, "i don't see how i can go on."

thing was, it may have been a more trying day for mommy.

she was up before the sun -- not by choice, but likely a hormonal spike and/or a kicking baby -- then changed and fed a boy so rambunctious that he head-butted her in the teeth. she wept from the pain.

and still, when the boy wouldn't take his mid-morning nap, she told me to go back to sleep and insisted she take the boy to mass with her, so i could go on my own later.

i slept deeply enough in that hour that i dreamed. more importantly, that time bought me some needed rest after a fitful night's sleep. i don't think i conveyed to her how helpful that was to me at the start of my work week.

it didn't hit me until after work, though, that kris was doing exactly what we'd promised each other just over three years ago.

as i started my car, i realized i'm not carrying a load on my own -- i have a helpmate. we are a team.

today, she covered my back; i hope i'm doing a good job covering hers.

raising a family is work. days like today embody what it means to be working on a labor of love.

technical difficulties

well, it was a good, three-year run.

that's how long i had my first digital camera, a hard-working casio ex-z77.

i killed it by putting it into the pocket of my swim trunks as i gathered our belongings from a morning at the beach almost two weeks ago.

i assumed that the minutes i was dripping dry while folding an umbrella and towels and organizing our stuff was long enough to not have much seepage into the camera body.

as i discovered at my sister's birthday dinner that night, i assumed wrong.

the thing wouldn't focus and hasn't since. (note image above, likely the last one it will take.)

i tried putting it into a bag with rice to dry it out, then added a couple of bags of silica desiccate to no avail.

and even if it had dried out to where the lens mechanism would work, i read that the salt would eventually corrode all the metal, so i would have only been buying time.

i used that camera on my honeymoon (it was a wedding present from my siblings), for the minutiae of our first year of marriage, cat photos, family portraits and the birth of our son.

it's a bummer to lose it.

here, i will also mention that the wireless backup to my hard drive is also on the fritz. it hasn't backed up since last month's blackout.

if bad things happen in threes, i don't want to think of the next piece of gear to go bad.

girl talk

i think if you'd ask any of my female relatives or friends, they'd probably agree with my assessment that one of my purposes in this life is to exasperate women.

this appears to be a defensive posture, since i'm usually trying to keep them off balance, because, frankly, i rarely feel like i'm at an advantage in our dealings.

(haven't been able to shake this sense since, oh, second grade. they were then and remain mysteries to me.)

which is why monday's news at once delights and frightens me: kris and i are going to become the parents of a baby girl.

first and foremost, i am relieved and thankful that the ultrasounds show a healthy baby with everything where its supposed to be. that was and is my most fervent prayer.

and after writing that, i can see that my biggest anxiety -- besides the usual ones about taking good care of the child -- is of a teenage version of this person.

it was hard enough dealing with them in high school, now i'll have one in my house? am i ready to handle the drama? the pressure? the angst?

and the baby hasn't even been born yet.

of course, i'm sucking all the joy out of the news of a new life coming into our family.

and for what? phantom fears?

as with everything else in my life, my worries arise from the unknown, especially of things beyond our control.

i am going to have to trust and pray that we will raise children who will make wise choices. and after we've done our best at that, well, we'll leave it in God's hands.

if our lives weren't interesting enough with hurricane boy, i suspect they will become even more so with mystery girl.

hello computer

sent a text to my sister on the drive down to myrtle beach:

just programmed the onboard computer to chart a course to kingston plantation. keep fingers crossed. i don't trust it.

sounds like something dr. mccoy would tell capt. kirk.

after years of dismissing the charms of gps navigation, not only did i reflexively use it on our family's trip, i followed its prompts with hardly any questions. (the latter being the kind of mindless, uncritical use of technology i claim to abhor.)

mostly, i did it because i was curious to see what course the computer in dad's new car would choose and if i could actually program it.

i used the touch screen to pinpoint on the map where we wanted to go since i was unable to figure out how to enter an actual address. i'm an impatient computer caveman like that.

after hitting "go," it plotted a course not unlike ones our family has used for years. the main difference was the shortcuts bypassing towns like hamlet and bennettsville, s.c.

(we may have also cut across a few fields on private or county roads. i couldn't tell; it was long past dark. we were driving on blind faith then.)

anyway, we got where we needed to go with no doubling back from wrong turns, so we saved some time. hearing the prompt "proceed on this course" offered reassurance we were on the right track once we'd moved onto the smaller state routes.

it was nice to follow, but i still trust maps and map reading too much to consider any garmin or tomtom purchases anytime soon for our own vehicles.