memorial day weekend, part ii

they boy needs to work on his casting.

that having been said, the holiday used to mean more to me as a younger man because it usually heralded a long weekend trip to walt disney world.

for the better part of 20 years, i'd pile into the car with the family — and often with other families — for a two-day or overnight drive to orlando.

it's been nearly that long since i've participated in one of those marathon trips and, coupled with awful newspaper hours and holidays, the day has faded from significance as a respite or event. 

this weekend, though, came at the end of a 10-day vacation here in charley west and now involves my own young family. it's probably the first memorial day i've had off in about more than 15 years. (the first perk of being off copy desk and in management, it seems.)

anyhow, kris, the kids and i trucked down to flat top saturday to help mom and dad host a cookout and hang out with the babies' mountain state cousins.

in the hours leading to our arrival, we persistently drilled the boy on what was expected of him: no backtalk, no baby talk, look at grownups in the eye when they are talking to you, answer questions, no fits or tantrums.

and sure enough, the little monkey mostly held up his end of the bargain. and in return, he got to enjoy hot dogs, chips, brownies and smores, a boat ride and even fishing practice off the dock with his cousins.

the boy and his ate ava.

and here, i will add remark on his immense fondness in particular for my sister's twin daughters. they dote on, humor and instruct him and he gives them his undivided attention — he makes them feel needed and important. (they provide no small relief to me and his mommy, that's for sure.)

both he and his sister were champs staying up an hour or so past their bedtimes in mostly agreeable spirits, though actual bedtime was pretty dicey for the first half of the night, what with what must be some sort of night terror or something that only happens to the boy when we travel.

they kept it together the next day at mass, but, sleep-deprived and disappointed, the boy totally lost it when he learned he was going back home and not the lakehouse. it made the trip to crw fairly tense until he just konked out about 15 minutes into the drive.

a burger king kids meal and a picnic lunch went a long way to soothing his spirits once he finally awoke and we talked him down.

and after a mid-morning side-trip to mahan to drop off the boat keys i accidentally drove off with yesterday, today was just a big ol' water day — likely making up a good chunk of the water we refused to use during the winter chemical leak — as i got to take the day off to play with the kids and their neat, new "water table," as well as the garden hose and its accutrement of sprinklers and spray nozzles. 

water table from aldi. nominee for best investment of the summer.

we ended with a nice supper out back with some really tasty beef kabobs and grilled veggies. the kids went down like rocks, the boy after just one story book. (i had to honor my promise to him of making a "23-19 robot" from "monsters inc" by stretching it over three days so he could actually go to bed without pouting or shouting.)

if i could ask for anything more from the day, it would be vanilla ice cream, but not much else.

the boy declared at the end of both saturday and today to be "really good" days. i'd have to call that high praise indeed.

and with that, the holiday resurfaces in my estimation as a day to have off. i'll have to remember that for now this was one good way to handle a day off with my children while they are still children.

memorial day weekend, part i

view from the lakehouse this weeeknd.

as holidays went, memorial day wasn't one i particularly looked forward to or felt an association with.

as i've grown older, i've come to recognize and respect its significance — not necessarily as a result of some of my facebook friends' sanctimonious, snobbishly unearned, "more-patriotic-than-thou" posting on social media as mostly coming to grips with what true loss means as a result of sacrifice for a greater good.

i'm not a callow youth living on ideals and absolutes; i'm a middle-aged family man now. i appreciate more and cherish what was given up by some and taken away from their survivors. i doubt that many of those men and women went into the service hoping to die, but they knew it was a possibility. they stepped up anyway and answered the call to duty. the lucky ones got to go back home.

as a newspaper guy, i see how a person's loss affects a community nearly every day. its importance is front and center in my mind. and if it's important to my community, it is now important to me.

love

just realized in these wee hours that ten years ago i embarked on the most serious relationship of my entire life — and that i have been loving on one woman for nearly a decade. 

i wasn't sure where we were going at first, but i don't think i've ever been more certain that it's someplace i'm blessed and glad to be headed toward now. 'til death do us part. 

days of future past

excerpt from the cover of uncanny x-men no. 141

also owing to the vacation, i'm also likely missing the midnight showing of the new x-men movie, which i would have probably been watching with my workmates after our thursday shift today.

this piece from a pop culture fan site holds in high regard the story arc as i first encountered it as a teenager -- utterly mind-blowing -- and spoiling me for any other comic book treatments for the better part of two decades. it set in stone my devotion to the marvel brand and to the x-men as a title.

anyhow, given our dearth of baby sitters, i'll likely not be watching this until it winds up on amazon prime in about a year or so.

i remember when movies like these were events for me and my friends as recently as eight years ago. marriage, family, work and -- holy shit -- age have ganged up to knock superhero movie-watching down a peg or 20.

so i've had to pick and choose my diversions and indulgences of my passions — if a 50-year-old man can still count comic books among them —and for now, at least, while the boy still gets scared of intense movie scenes, we're going to have to limit them to museum visits, beach trips and mountaineer sports.

as long as my comic book movies don't begin to start sucking by the time he's ready ....

vacation

pizza picnic dinner. boy took two shots in the arm like a champ earlier.

as the go-gos once sang, "how did you get away?"

not hard, really. nice, low-grade fever picked up over the weekend does a lot to sap one's energy.

combined with no need to go to work, it's easy to turn the days into a series of catnaps between watching kids and shuttling between appointments and all.

i definitely needed the sleep, but none of the big spring cleaning even got started. not sure friday's going to do the trick.

still, have a few weeks to take off. going to have to make it work before the summer gets totally away from us, though.

fingers crossed.

all together now

the boy now has company in the castle.

it only took two years, but we're finally able to attend mass as a family ... kind of.

the baby, being in her terrible twos and fighting the sniffles, has to be taken out after a bit to sit with mama where she can be active.

the boy sits and fidgets with me, with loud whispering, but mostly ok. (i hope that's ok with our pew mates.)

the weather was nice today, so the babies got to run around the preschool playground. and, yeah, the boy got caught up and waited too long to potty, but otherwise not a bad church day.

dear Lord, i hope this is the start of a more regular attendance for us.

helicopter

this was a group that the boy fit in with.

after kris and i visited the polls yesterday, we took the kids out to the playground to burn off some steam.

there was a group of kids there already playing. they were still small, but a couple of years older than the boy.

as he is wont to do when encountering groups of young people, he starts off with whatever his current fascination is, just assuming everyone knows what he's talking about. he also announced his presence to get their attention.

"i'm awesome man!" he bellowed from atop the slide. (awesome man is the hero of one of his favorite books.)

the group at the bottom of the slide was unimpressed.

"no you're not."

"you're so, like, the opposite of awesome."

and that was the end of their interaction with him.

luckily, he was oblivious to their disdain, even as he kept trying to get their attention.

meantime, i was fuming.

why didn't they have the courtesy to at least acknowledge his presence? and why weren't the moms who were witnessing it not encouraging their kids to be inclusive or at least friendly?

kris told me i should handle the situation with more grace.

yeah, i get that they were there as a group of playmates that already had an apparent exclusivity to it and, as such, outsiders can't just expect to be welcomed in.

what must have burned my ass was that the cliquishness of it -- the lack of acknowledgment that he was even present. to them, my son was background noise, a 4-year-old bug to be ignored.

i'm not sure what would have gotten their attention -- maybe if he had something they wanted, as is usually the case with little brains.

hacked-off thoughts like these -- and the desire to protect my bright, funny, personable kid from the kind of people who were setting them off -- made me realize i was taking that first step into helicopter parenting.

it's gonna hurt watching him get hurt or frustrated or baffled by mean people.

i guess the best i can do  is to teach him to avoid time-sucks like them and hope that he develops enough of an emotional i.q. to recognize when he is not welcome somewhere and the self-assurance to accept it.

countless gifts of love

mother's day 2014

mother's day did not start out auspiciously as the boy learned he would not be accompanying me to mass as i read. big screaming and kicking fit ensued.

laid down some prayers afterward seeking divine intervention to give my lovely wife her due for all she has done for me and the children.

swung by the bridge road bistro on the way home with the hopes that there might be an opening for a last-minute  seating -- and learned a few tables were set aside for walk-ins on a first-come, first-served basis.

with the parking lot empty, it didn't take much convincing to get kris and the babies dressed and out the door.

after a quick visit to the fire station across the street with the boy and the girl as we waited for the doors to officially open, we were the first ones seated.

not quite a jungle gymnast yet.

i got a tasty southwestern omelet, a biscuit with gravy and smoked lox and bagel with cream cheese; kris tried the chicken marsala, smoked trout and the bagel with lox. the babies had a little ham, a pastry and various breads.

we got super lucky. (thanks to the staff at the bistro for being so understanding and accommodating, btw, for keeping in mind change-of-planners like us, and also for their kind, attentive service for our little family. in addition to the delectable meal itself, they made this treat a special one indeed.)

we rounded out the day with a visit to a nearby playground to burn off some energy and enjoy the beautiful weather.

i approached the Lord today knowing in my weakness that everything depended on Him. and the fruits with which He blessed us this day turned out to be extra gifts, answers to unspoken prayers of thanksgiving, gratitude and love to Him and my beautiful beloved through whom He has sent me love and constant, countless blessings. and for this, i offer thanks and praise. alleluia and amen.

(and extra blessings on my wife as she also celebrated a birthday this day, as well.)

equal time

the girl, from the boy's perspective.

and this one, she is well into her terrible twos. not violent or as ill-tempered as her brother, but more prone to crying fits and contrariness.

(still, again, if we'd had her first, with this mild run of misbehavior, her brother probably would have had us suicidal with his antics when his turn arrived.)

status update

family supper. sammy's first communion.

won't say it's been a quiet week because our weeks are never quiet. just quietly busy, i suppose.

on the other hand, in the seven days since this raucous family meal was shared, we have reaped the whirlwind of the delicious gluten and dye bombs the boy consumed.

it's been the classic three steps forward/two steps back behavior-wise, where he's been alternately sweet and thoughtful then mouthy and mean.

again, it feels like he's being 4, but, wow, after the late-night/early morning scream-fest we endured last night, the thought entered my mind that perhaps the boy could be mentally challenged.

but after all is said and done, it really is impulse control that we're aspiring for. and if i'm remembering correctly about the stupidity i acted upon "just to see what happened," we've got at least four more years of this coming.

yeah, good luck, us.

reader. maniac.