zero hour

last family pic of 2014.

gonna keep this short and sweet.

while 2014 definitely goes down in the annals of shitty years, there was plenty of sweet to go with the bitter.

my wife and our beautiful children are a constant source of pride and joy. they are my everything and make my life worth living.

aside from a broken foot suffered during the great water crisis of 2014, i am grateful for the abundant health our family enjoys. i pray that the Lord may continue to bless us all in his mercy and love.

i am thankful for work, the good people i work with and the chance to do good work.

i am thankful for the love of my family and friends and the love in the kindness of strangers.

i pray that the work of my hands may be suitable offering in thanksgiving for all these blessings and gifts and that, despite my frequent stumbles, i may continue to strive to do the work of the Lord.

the annual exercise. let's hope it bears a more fruitful yield in 2015.

the resolutions are variations on the theme:

1. go to confession more
2. continue to pray, meditate when possible
3. exercise
4. manage that money
5. give your wife a bedroom she can be proud of

i should also pray for resolve, i think.

all praise and thanks to God for his many gifts and for pulling us through a very, very hard year. amen and amen. alleluia. amen.

the big day

i'm about ready to pass out. long day.

christmas journey began yesterday evening with trip down to mom and dad's in beckley for a children's christmas vigil mass, followed by supper with the cousins.

mom. with chicken. beckley.

mom outdid herself with just the essentials of a dinner party: roast chicken, palabok, beef with oyster sauce, and a side of broccoli casserole and steamed white rice, plus a tasty coppola cabernet sauvignon.

i don't think i'd enjoyed such a spread in years — everything you want and as much as you want. i was very happy. (the boy appears to be a huge fan of crispy chicken skin. he wasn't so hot on the rice noodles, but did a decent number on the chicken breast and rice. the girl maybe licked her food.)

the kids ran around and played. the grownups — we used to be the kids — sat around the table, sipping wine and sharing stories and news.

we left about an hour later than i wanted to but everyone seemed to have a great time. despite a pledge as i buckled him in that he would not sleep on the way home, he was out only a few miles onto the turnpike; she was asleep just a little after the first toll booth.

we hit the ground running upon reaching charley west. mama busied herself with preparations for santa's visit, including some three kinds of amazing cookies, while i did the important work of uploading photos to the facebooks.

we were both conked out right around midnight.

the kids were ridiculous once daybreak arrived. the moment they'd been waiting for finally dawned — and they both slept in. if i'd known they were going to wake up two hours later, i'd have gone back to bed at 6:21.

once up, they quickly got into the spirit of opening gifts and seemed excited and elated at both the process and with their take. mommy, daddy, their relatives and santa all did very well to hit the high points on their amorphous christmas lists.

mommy, meantime, broke out the fruits of her day of christmas eve cooking with an array of breakfast casserole, oven french toast, salmon cheese ball, bleu chees stuffed green olives, orange marinated black olives, bacon, kielbasa, green beans and sweet potatoes for a morning-long nosh with mimosas.

baby with leap pad.

(btw, daddy arrived just in time after hitting up the local 7-eleven for an 8-pack of aa batteries, which i could have sworn we were well-stocked in, to power up the kids' new leap pads. the cashiers were especially warm and chipper for having to work on a hoiday, and i was grateful to not have to feel too bad for their christmas plight.)

the kids finally got the hang of their new learning tablets after a frustrating 30 minutes or so. daddy took about a half-hour nap after that before work. (his selfless staff stuck around after the rest of the copydesk took its leave)

a super special shout-out goes to the mommies today. if ever you needed evidence of a mother's love for her family, you need only look at their dining tables. mom and kris worked a day and a night to create feasts for their families to enjoy for their christmas meals. and they were spectacular.

and i can't say enough about the efforts kris has put forth even before advent started to ensure the family had a magical holiday, from decorations and projects to kid-wrangling, gifts and cooking. mommy did God's work as our family's christmas angel.

whew... things got a little blurry there ... anyway, had breakfast for dinner and hope i have done ok by documenting a blessed, pleasurable and satisfying whirlwind christmas holiday. amen, Lord, amen. thanks be to God. hallelujah. amen.

hurdles

clay center christmas.

i wish i knew the secret to making the holiday last. or more like savor the moments.

it's kinda like my wedding: gulping down each sequence, not even past one before looking for what follows; all focus on the finish line, hurdling each event, running full speed, then up and over the next, and the next and the next and then it's all over.

especially now, while my children are still babies, i need to take this in, to burn into my memory their wonder and anticipation and innocent acceptance of everything at face value.

it's a runaway truck chasing us and we can't rest until it's past us. there has to be a way to make the time slow down.

believers

visit with santa claus. town center.

these two are well and truly in their santa years. last year, the boy discovered christmas circulars in the paper and began understanding the idea of the jolly old elf who brought toys.

the baby has a vague idea that santa brings toys, but doesn't seem to recognize the whole asking or making a list thing.

after watching our friends' amusing photos of their kids' howling on santa's lap the past few years, we pretty much figured we'd bypass all the hassle by waiting.

this year, though, the boy seemed to have gotten past his wariness of christmases past and grew pretty keen on talking to the big man. (he could see him at the coonskin park lodge as we drove to see the outdoor light display last weekend and really wanted to pay a visit. unfortunately, we were on the way out of the park.) so we promised that we'd go.

we planned an off-peak visit — mid-day, mid-week — so as to minimize lines and impatient, anxious, tired, low blood-sugared kids and, wonder of wonders, there was no line.

it was all basically a photo op with santa to sell a few pictures, which didn't seem like a bad thing. baby went with her brother, which made her brave.

they were both distracted. mama tried to get them to look into the camera. old saint nick seemed more focused on being photo-ready than coaxing a list out of the little monkeys, which, really, saved everyone a lot of awkward drama and time.

sensing the visit was drawing to a close, i told the kids to tell santa what they wanted. being my children, they both choked. he said he wanted a robot, which he'd never mentioned before. she said, in a wee voice, that she wanted a "dowah" — aka, dora the explorer —which is actually one of the things she would like, so, not bad.

next in line for the visit.

but overall, this has been the kind of christmas experience that you carry with you the rest of your life: christmas pageants, carols, a tree in the house, decorations, anticipation, television specials and the visit with santa. it's the time that you believe in everything, from flying reindeer and a sleigh, to the words your parents speak.

the kids were inspired after watching an old max fleischer christmas cartoon set in a depression-era orphanage to give some of their toys to charity, so i think they have an idea that there are children out there who are not as fortunate as them. and at least they are aware that this has something to do with the gift of Baby Jesus and that this is a season of giving and that giving is a good thing to do.

me? i'm trying to slow things down and savor the sights and sounds and the hustling, bustling sensory overload that comes with a multimedia christmas. i'm trying to count my blessings and be grateful for circumstances that allow me to provide for my family not just for the season, but for the rest of the year, too.

God bless us, every one.

demented elf

elf struggling with his inner self.

there was a poll or study some years ago that a kid stops being cute around age 5. how cruel, i thought. surely around 7 or 8, earliest.

i stand corrected.

it's about right. the boy's set to turn 5 next year and, wow, he's that sad, weird combination of obnoxious and needy for affection and attention.

couple that with the deactivation of the impulse inhibitor that is the christmas season, and he is treading on every last nerve in my body. kris was ready to call tomorrow christmas in order to open gifts early and spare herself the last two weeks ratcheting mania and anticipation that is threatening to make the boy's head explode.

that we began celebrating the baby's birthday this weekend didn't help matters as he began helping himself to her gifts and party accoutrements. given my aggravated frame of mind, i made pointed comments all day that he should be as ready to "share" with his sister as he seems to expect her to be with him. (yeah, this went beyond trying to catch a contact buzz from staying in close proximity to her unwrapping gifts.)

kris told me to tone down the sarcasm and snark as she said he has already picked up on her exasperated rhetoric and begun throwing it back at her and his sister.

and i know i shouldn't be so curt or critical toward an almost 5-year-old boy who is caught up in the throes of the greatest day on the childhood calendar. part of it is knowing what a terrific spazz i still am and how he is mentally ill-equipped to handle the excitement and anticipation of child's christmas. i need to recognize that he's giving it all he's got.

i just need to back off and chill out and enjoy that he is earnestly looking forward to telling santa claus what he wants and that the holiday yet remains for him a time full of wonder and mystery and a steady, electric charge of joy. God bless us — and God help us — every one.

first night

he didn't ask for a song at bedtime. hope this isn't the start of a trend.

lazy saturday

watching "cars."

not busy, not stressful, not productive per se. steady rain nixed plans for a christmasy day of a downtown parade and a visit to santa at the library. so the baby hunkered down for a nap while the boy went shopping with mama. daddy got a few loads of laundry done and paid a few bills.

spent most of the evening in front of the tube. baby missed out on promise of hot cocoa and popcorn by not eating her supper. watching her face fall when her brother received his bowl and mug is something i don't hope to see again any time soon, if ever.

this wasn't the petulance of the terrible twos that she's been making up for not showing until she's almost three — three! — but the real heartbreak of reaping the seeds of consequence that she knew she sowed.

but the girl has to learn that she can't just live on the snacks she hopes to get between meals if she refuses to eat what mama prepares.

then there's this:

sullen kitty slurps tuna water. #notmissing pic.twitter.com/x2lr7z5EM0
— some asian guy (@grumpnet) December 6, 2014

after not showing her face for about five or six hours, at the end of which i finally posted to social media on the off chance she escaped from the house while kris went to pick up the paper, she saunters into the kitchen not a minute after i post her pic on the facebooks and the twitters. starts lapping at her favorite tuna water as if nothing happened at all — not that i called for her in the basement or the perimeter of the house or our neighbor's crawl space. ridiculous cat.