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terrorists of love

2012-01-27T23:08:00.006-05:00

we'd been told that after the days of sweetness and light, where the elder sibling makes nice with the new baby, the proverbial shit hits the fan.

i'm hoping the following communications mean that time has come and gone.

just for posterity's sake, a recounting of the bizarre two days the tuesday after my last posts, via texts from kris:

3:13 p.m.

He pissed all over bed, orangie, [his plush dr. seuss doll] and then apparently over side bc there was a puddle on floor and his dragon ride was dripping wet. I have changed him and the bed and put him back in it. No tee tee [video] tonight and i'm going to let him lie in there now as long as it takes, even if he pees all over the damn room.

i responded that we were going to have to stop putting him in zippered sleepers, thinking he knows how to take them off now.

4:11 p.m.

Um, he was wearing pants. I had to change him into zips.

i went back to the sports department, where a couple of the staffers had sons. they'd had similar experiences of their boys removing their diapers to water their surroundings, they assured me.

i relayed this to kris.

5:58 p.m.

How about the insane hitting and tantrums?

i didn't bother following up. then a revelation:

7:13 p.m.

A night without orangie, oh my. He asked, but i think he understands bc he did not protest. I told him bc he peed on him, he's got to take a bath. He has tigger instead. We shall see.

consequences! he recognizes them!

then, checking on her after a late shift ...

11:47 p.m.

He was fine. She's being... Herself. Oy.

and then ...

12:31 a.m

She is never going to fucking sleep. I'm gonna fucking die.

next day, i text to see if there's any improvement:

6:17 p.m.

Yeah, we're fine. Sorry. Watching harold [and the purple crayon cartoon] before bed.

progress! and then ...

7:23 p.m.

Ok for real somebody needs to ask rick [atkinson, airport manager] about these low-flying planes. I really thought that one was coming through our roof.

i learned later that said planes had awakened boy.

8:05 p.m.

Your children are psycho. Felix is wearing bib overalls to sleep until further notice, by the way. I'm not cleaning up piss anymore. Seriously, they're insane. All 3 of them.

she included the cat as a contributor to the craziness.

and to close ...

8:21 p.m.

No- fuck it. He can wear the damn uncomfortable demit bias [denim bibs] until he stops acting like a turd. That's what he's being. He said his name for the first time tonight, the little turd. To mock me! As in, 'oh, felix!' when i saw the mess. And now girl is out of her mind. Just fuck.

but -- because she is a genius, kris hit upon the idea of putting the boy in a onesie so as to block easy access to his diaper via the zippered sleepers.

no pissing from the crib so far.

btw

2012-01-13T07:31:00.001-05:00

come naptime, what with the thrashing and grunting and cries of "whoa!", it often sounds like the boy isn't just fighting sleep but brawling in a cage match with morpheus himself.

dialogue

2012-01-13T06:56:00.006-05:00

me, as the boy, bellowing, rouses: "6:29. he let us sleep in."

she, as the girl squawks for her morning feeding: "he's a gem."

(from last week, a similar note, as i now try to get some extra, post-feed winks.)

coming around

2012-01-13T00:48:00.002-05:00

this is the boy and his sister.

i think we're finding that making him a part of the team -- "help daddy" or "help mommy" -- has gone a long way in helping him feel important and needed.

i'm still working hard to have alone time with him.

and i'm finding i work best when i'm up with him in the morning to wear his ass out for his mid-afternoon nap.

so maybe i'd best be hitting the sack.

old gold and blue afterglow

2012-01-12T23:54:00.008-05:00

as i contemplate a drive to morgantown to have my picture taken with a fruit bowl, i'm still basking in the glow of my west virginia mountaineers setting an all-time bowl record for points in their win against clemson in the orange bowl.

i spent most of the hours following the game sopping up as much online gravy as i could. suffice to say, my favorite aggregator did all that for me the morning after.

here's one from one of my favorite college football bloggers at the pre-snap read that posted after the smoking musket's compilation.

(it's sweet; a great appreciation of this year's team from an objective observer.)

and this, from the daily mail's sports editor is worth a read because my buddy jack has seen so much that his astonishment means so much more.

of course, possibly my favorite commentary wasn't from a sports writer. it came from our graphic artist.

"now, you know i'm not a wvu fan," he said to me. (for a marshall grad, that's putting it mildly.) "but what they did in that game was impressive."

when your critics take note, you know you've done well.

eat and sleep

2012-01-04T12:31:00.003-05:00

eat and sleep, a photo by grumpnet on Flickr.

two weeks in, the girl's gotten pretty good at the baby thing.

with mama and the boy out running errands, daddy's happy to have some time to bond with baby no. 2 and pass along some knowledge.

the food of love

2012-01-01T23:47:00.006-05:00

this was the last meal kris and i had for 2011, pancit palabok, rice noodles with a chicken-based sauce, one of my mom's specialties.

this was supper for the first night of 2012, baked ham with macaroni and cheese from kris and her mom, with sides of corn bread and hoppin' johns from my sister pamy.

(she learned the dish from her and her husband's stint in oklahoma, where it's served as a traditional new year's dish for luck.)

i'm sure to mom and kris and her mom and pamy, these were simply dishes; to me, though, they were nourishing gifts of their hearts.

something about the holidays always makes me mushy anyway, but for some reason this year they made me especially nostalgic and sentimental.

i was grateful for the wonderful flavors and comfort these meals provided. but what warmed my heart was the love that went into making them.

time squatting

2011-12-31T23:40:00.005-05:00

so much to do.

so much to recall.

so much to write.

so much for that.

i've got to quickly jot down in my journal my resolutions for next year, which begins in about, oh, 18 minutes.

tradition!

a week in

2011-12-24T04:16:00.004-05:00

so as you can see, the boy is adjusting to his new role as big brother.

and kris and i are adjusting to life as "married, with children." (emphasis on now plural offspring.)

writing at the moment is a luxury, so i've had to resort to the micro-blog, something i can do as i try to take in what's become an even more precious commodity: sleep.

which means i'm having to eat my words or something and say i've activated the twitter account i've been squatting on for the past year or so ...

i've got the first day home with the girl documented, along with subsequent updates -- including the boy's reaction to sharing space with his new housemate.

we'll see how long i can abide this twittering supplement to the blog.

not ideal, but ...

2011-12-18T23:40:00.003-05:00

all things considered, we're counting our blessings.

so mama's home now, sleeping deeply, i hope. the girl is likely squawking to get fed.

we left the little munchkin at the hospital to receive a daily i.v. dose of antibiotics to squelch whatever infection upped her white blood cell count.

as infections go, it was minor. the hospital staff wanted to keep it that way.

so we get her back just before christmas; possibly a few days sooner if the pediatrician decides the administered doses have accomplished their mission.

we decided to look on the bright side of things.

it gives kris a few nights to rest and recuperate.
she also gets a few days to bond with the boy. (he was fairly stand-offish when gaga and papaw and i brought him in to visit with her.)
we'll be able to delay the grind of the feed vs sleep schedule and its accompanying issues of identifying and adjusting to the vagaries of a newborn's digestive habits. the maternity nurses will be able to do that for us. (i hope.)
and we remembered all the parents of babies who had to leave them in hospitals for months with much more tenuous prospects.

nope, we're blessed and lucky that all we needed was time.

we'll miss the time off i'm taking to sort of get our schedules in sync with caring for infant while raising a rambunctious boy and, obviously, we just don't have the girl with us.

other than that, we're good. we'll get to visit every day and stay as long as we want.

she's just spending her nights with some highly qualified nannies, that's all.

thanks be to God.

'the day everyone cries'

2011-12-17T21:23:00.002-05:00

so here you are, third day of no sleep, filled with constant interruptions, poking, prodding and worrying, and, oh yeah, you spent most of the previous day trying to push another human being out from your privates.

i think there'd be a bit of tension in you.

well, on hour 31 of our girl's appearance on the planet, her mom lies in bed asleep, but ready to awake for the results of her newest baby's blood tests.

we have been blessed with a healthy baby. but as with most new releases, there are bugs to work out -- slightly elevated white cell counts, a persistent shiver -- but i think they will be worked out with low-dose antibiotics and a little time.

it's been trying.

but this evening's night nurse, emily, was wonderful in explaining things and comforting us.

as a mother, she knows what we're going through.

day two, she says, is "the day everyone cries."

and here she is

2011-12-16T23:48:00.003-05:00

meet the new girl.

king for a day

2011-12-15T23:49:00.004-05:00

here's a pic from what's likely the boy's last day as our only child.

today, he was mostly sweet, despite a few pouting jags.

he listened to me as he got to roam around outdoors on an overcast and unseasonably warm day ...

which led to a nice, long nap after a lunch in which he demolished two sausage links, half a cheese stick, a handful of wheat crackers and a few raisins.

bonus: upon his request to "pee pee," he did indeed potty. multiple times at one sitting.

(the incentive to flush the commode as frequently as possible appears irresistable.)

this is not his first foray into potty training, but it may be the first one for me.

kris has at least one where he made no. 1. and at least one where he made no. 2. (that was his very first sit, oddly enough.)

anyway, if things work out tomorrow, he may soon be sharing the house with a sister.

thank you, Lord, for this amazing gift of energy. bless, keep and guide this little boy of ours.

just wow

2011-12-11T00:00:00.005-05:00

was getting the boy ready for a shopping excursion with mama today and while he was dilly-dallying, i noticed how big he'd become for his kiddie car.

i remember when my buddy brad bequeathed it to us after his own children had outgrown it.

i remember, once i'd replaced the batteries, how the only thing the boy would do with it was push the buttons to activate its various sound effects and music.

i remember it was also something of a competition between his talking dinosaur rider and the lightning mcqueen car for riding and how, once seated, he kept pushing both backward.

"lightning" has won and the boy seems to know to push the car forward, but now his knees are hitting the dashboard.

again. whoa. this is happening too fast.

lots of firsts

2011-12-09T23:10:00.005-05:00

the "firsts" are coming in hot and heavy now.

before, they were ticked off in months, now they seem to come about daily.

at right, the boy's had his first car trip (to and from the kroger store) facing forward. (28 november)

i'm fairly certain i wrote when he said his first word ("kitty"), but i can't find it.

kris tells me a few weeks ago it became part of his first complete sentence: "hi kitty."

i believe it was thursday the 17th of november that his second complete sentence was uttered: "bye-bye, daddy." bummer, that.

his first song was for sure first heard on sunday 27 november on the car ride home from parkersburg after thanksgiving. "elmo's song" is reprised below a few days later:

he can use a fork. he can climb onto a chair. he's been high chair-free at home for a couple of weeks now.

it would be nice if he could say "thank you" instead of "you're welcome." (or "aku" and "elcome," respectively.)

we'd taught him "thank you" and was good on it the first few days, but began "correcting" himself every time we replied "you're welcome." we've yet to break him of that.

he's too tall now to walk between my legs, which both astounds and saddens me.

it's too fast, man. it's too fast.

lights

2011-12-04T06:51:00.009-05:00

so in lieu of the usual pre-bedtime ritual of a few minutes of "sesame street" video on the youtube -- or "tee tee," as the boy calls it -- he, his mama and i sat on the couch in the soft glow christmas lights.

i called up the lovely "sing we christmas" album by chanticleer on the itunes as he sipped his milk and noshed on some cheerios. (he'd eaten a very poor dinner and mama didn't want him waking up hungry.)

he kept pointing to the bright strings of white across the window and the braids of color draped along the mirror, wondering at the "lighes."

with the cheerios gone, he was soon up and toddling between the kitchen baby gate and the couch, alternately activating the voice on his "lightning mcqueen" kiddie car and getting horsie rides on daddy's knee.

he eventually wound down.

i got his diaper changed and lowered the boy into his crib. mama touched his cheek and smoothed his hair. then he drifted off with nary a peep.

judging by kris' discomfort these past couple of days, the baby seems to be positioning herself for an arrival in the next day or so -- or at least before next weekend.

if that's the case, this likely will have been the last evening we will have spent as just we three.

mind blowing

2011-12-01T01:32:00.004-05:00

so here we are, likely days away from the birth of our second child and the reality that we're going to have another person living with us is only just now being felt.

kris called monday afternoon following her ob/gyn visit to say the doc hopes, judging by her blood pressure spike, she can hold on until the following monday before inducing labor.

the ob could already feel the girl's head getting into position.

this is, like, three weeks before we were expecting her. as she said in a text a few minutes later, "holy fucking shit."

i mean, here we are, our son is running us joyously, exasperatingly ragged.

our world is 180 degrees from where it was a mere three years ago

and now we're preparing to bring home a wholly different living, breathing, spewing, crying, pooping armful of needs and personality?

i didn't think our heights could get much higher, and yet we're commencing to take a flying leap to the next level.

if we didn't have any idea what we were in for before, how much more so after a new force is applied to an already dizzying motion?

the Lord watches over drunks and fools. we must be living proof. may He continue to do so. amen.

a terrible two-r de force

2011-11-27T23:40:00.010-05:00

so last monday, the missus -- possibly days away from an early delivery -- sends me a series of texts at work documenting what a bad boy the boy had been in the few hours i'd been away.

it was fairly epic. i'm re-posting them here in slightly edited form for posterity. (profanity included.)

4:21 p.m.

So he stomped on my foot twice, slapped me in the face and as i was cribbing him for that he kicked me with both feet in my belly. Why, you ask? Because i was reading to him from the toy story book and apparently he did not want me to.

4:42 p.m.

Wow. This day is going in the books. Just tore down the baby gate and fell backward on his head while throwing a tantrum after i took him off the buffet for hitting the cat.

my response: "holy cow."

4:57 p.m.

Oh, i'm not done yet. Keep phone close- i'm having a lot of pressure ... Probably just bc i've been lifting on him a lot, but keep your ears open in case i need you.

6:01 p.m.

Really? For his maybe finale, he just pissed under the dining table. Don't ask.

but i did ...

6:26 p.m.

I was trying to avoid having to lift him onto the changing table, so i let him get out of bath and i was trying to diaper and dress him in the bathroom. But he ran away, naked. And that's how he used his freedom.

impressed, i facetiously wondered what he'd do for an encore. and then ...

6:53 p.m.

That would be slap me and hurl my glasses across the bedroom as i was hauling him away from tv to bed. Epic day. If my water doesn't break tonight i will be shocked. Though i have no idea why [the baby] would want to deal with any of this.

7:08 p.m.

He managed to break my fucking glasses again. I'm going to bed ...

perspective, part 2

2011-11-05T22:26:00.010-04:00

on the other hand, i got to spend part of today with my brother pj and his son at good old mountaineer field -- not necessarily in the same section, but at the same ballgame.

i apologized to my nephew that the team wasn't able to give him a win, but my brother was grateful that he got to spend some time with a couple of his old fraternity brothers.

i got a chance to hang out with them for a while out in the blue lot in front of the stadium and commiserate on the vicissitudes of middle age.

there was laughter, both rueful and amused, reminiscing, re-living heartbreaking wvu losses and a little catching up what everyone was doing.

at the game, i sat next to a lawyer from cleveland and her friend who teaches fifth grade science in the montgomery county, md., school system, as well as an increasingly frustrated dude from winfield, w.va., and a third grade art teacher and her husband.

(didn't get to experience the ramping up of high-fives all around that had accompanied the snowball nature of scoring in our wins this fall, so there was some disappointment there, but at least the company was good.)

was able to have a nice supper of hot wings, fries and bleu with pj and his boy and my sister, joy. it was a nice couple of hours.

got home to learn that my son had been a perfect angel all day for his mama (so that's where all our karma went) and i didn't need to feel guilty about leaving them for about 12 hours.

while i would have loved a win and a continued chance to win a conference title, all in all, this wasn't a bad day.

perspective, part 1

2011-11-05T22:09:00.013-04:00

so my mountaineers lost today.

after nine games of waiting for the switch to be on from the get-go instead of only for the second half, we get a game where the switch never got turned.

special teams killed us. a missed field goal that proved the difference in the game and a blocked field goal that was run back for a touchdown was what got us behind in the first place.

despite my fondest hopes, this is a year we'll have to write off for rebuilding and re-learning.

in my heart of hearts, i really believed we'd instantly pick up this magic offense and quickly mature on defense and run the table.

consider that balloon deflated.

unlike games in years past that were out and out massacres or simply broke our hearts, these losses were disappointing -- and just this side of frustrating. (see above.)

you could almost feel it in the crowd, which was as flat as any i'd been a part of in recent memory.

i hope it was the cold, but there was an excitement missing that was the polar opposite of what i'd experienced in our beatdown by louisiana state.

of course, the bigger concern is that maybe our hotshot offensive coordinator hire may possess a wizardry with the x's and o's, but might lack the managerial and motivational wherewithal to be a head coach.

i hope he's not too proud to ask for guidance and that he'll prove to be a fast learner. otherwise, we can look forward to a few more seasons of disappointing performances.

the fun age

2011-11-04T00:05:00.011-04:00

when i became a new dad, i didn't quite understand what parents meant when they'd talk about toddlerhood being "the fun age."

i was very much enjoying the little bundle of burps and spews and crying the way he was. how could the little monkey be more fun than that?

now i see.

yes, the lil dude is mobile and a constant source of anxiety as a flight risk, but, yeah, the stuff he does at this age is pretty funny.

watching the synapses connect as he applies his observations and discoveries toward whatever new permutations his imagination dreams up is a source of wonder.

the bemused or gleeful amazement that comes across his face when presented with new experiences warms my heart and gives me hope for his intellectual curiosity.

then there's the simple laughs and silliness of being a child.

yeah, that stuff's just cute.

wired

2011-10-29T00:27:00.005-04:00

nights like this ... surfing for more big news about my mountaineers, catching up on online media, keeping track of a dramatic world series ... i'm up for no good reason.

this was a hard week at the paper with said big story about my alma mater. (which was itself filled with drama.) combine with remaking two different section fronts on consecutive nights and an epic game six to end the week, and i'm tired and wired.

i'm up and i should be asleep. but i feel like i should be getting work done in the house. it is difficult to focus.

i should just cut my losses and hit the sack.

wvu@25

2011-10-23T23:55:00.006-04:00

here's my silver lining to west virginia's shocking loss at syracuse: instead of dropping down to no. 25, we'd be a top 10 team today.

with the upsets of oklahoma and wisconsin, two teams ahead of us in last week's polls, we'd have moved from no. 11 into no worse than 9 or 10.

maybe it's the fatalist in me, but if we were a top 10 team, some other conference foe -- likely rutgers this week or, worse, pitt in november -- would have exposed the weakness that syracuse exploited.

and that would have been a bubble buster even harder to stomach than this last one.

we're still a top 25 team, albeit by our fingernails. but we're also two losses wiser.

while a lofty mid-season ranking provides some heady ether, being brought down to earth can be a painful, but necessary way of sobering up to focus on the opportunities ahead.

i'm hoping that this really is a blessing in disguise, part of a football program's growing pains to bigger and better things.

wvu@5-2

2011-10-22T22:41:00.011-04:00

my colleague, mike, posted a prescient preview story before friday's west virginia game against syracuse, in which he noted the similarities coming in this year and last.

unfortunately, we got the same result, an upset loss -- and, more than that, it was an old-fashioned, behind the woodshed ass-whipping.

this appeared as comment in his blog:

as per last year vs. this year: i don’t sense the ineptitude, impotence or indecisive flailing the team effused after losing in 2010.
we have an identity, and it’s a good one; we just happened to run into a buzz saw.

syracuse’s game plan was simple, but they executed to perfection. they were the team (coach doug) marrone asked them to be: smart, patient and, most importantly, physical.
as long as our defense couldn’t stop them, their offense dinked and dunked its way up and down the field and protected the ball.

the orange defense was relentless and constant as a piledriver. we never maintained a steady rhythm.

as (blog commenter) lcj said, we played “fine,” but we needed to be better than “good” against a team that wasn’t making mistakes.

my understanding of the 3-3-5 defense — and spread offenses, for that matter — is that they made up for the deficiencies from not being able to recruit elite athletes at positions designed for a pro-style offense or conventional defense.

we’ve needed gimmicks because we’re not alabama or michigan.

while my fondest dreams were that everything would gel this year and we’d pull off the upsets and crush the rest, i’m having to face the facts that “the experts” pointed out before the season began: we’re inexperienced in the places that count — o-line and defense.

we”re learning — and we should be the better for it, if not this year, then next.

while we no longer control our own destiny, that conference title is still up for grabs. i can only hope we take something moving forward from these lessons.

that about sums it up for me.

superhero day

2011-10-17T21:06:00.012-04:00

on a day where we ran a story about self-styled "superheroes" rising up and roaming the streets of america, i actually sort of got to play one.

the boy and i were at the playground, where he was having a snack break from his morning rumpus.

from the shelter i heard a mom shout, "amanda? where are you?"

a quick scan of the playground revealed the 2-year-old atop a climbing wall trying to clamber onto a platform leading to a slide.

i hurried over as i pointed her mom in the child's direction.

as mom told her tyke to be careful, i climbed up to ensure the youngster didn't fall.

then she did. my hand shot up as her bottom landed square in my palm.

as i couldn't get enough leverage to push the child back onto the platform, i caught her in my arm as i jumped off the wall.

she cried, i think because a strange man was trying to make her stop crying. i handed her back to her mom, who said thanks.

earlier, on the way to the park, managed to get a kitten off the side of the road and back into her owner's carport.

she bounded down the slope to the road where the boy and i were walking and wouldn't leave the shoulder. that she was staying there playing made me nervous.

it took a couple of attempts to get her to stay closer to the house.

luckily, i recalled the "cat trap" picture and set her in a decorative halloween cauldron in the carport.

this bought the boy and me the time and separation needed to ensure she didn't us follow to the road.

i called the number on her tags and confirmed with the owner that it was indeed her house and that she is an indoor/outdoor cat. (owner was en route from south carolina back home.)

catching a falling child and saving a cat. sounds kind of like a superhero day to me. demented and sad, but kind of.

postscript -- 18 october: on way to work, moved a turtle out from the middle of the road. just doing my job.

go go, go go

2011-10-16T23:40:00.003-04:00

this is the boy walking and talking down the street.

all he is saying is "go go, go go." he keeps this up for only a few seconds.

on saturday morning, though, he toddled with a head of steam down the alley beside the house to our neighbor at the bottom of the hill repeating it like a mantra all the way to her garden gate.

at this phase of his life, "go go" seems less a verb or command as a statement of being.

shake-up

2011-10-14T23:44:00.007-04:00

for my west virginia mountaineers, it's come down to this: a big east conference lunging to the west for the hope of keeping open its bid to play for national championships.

for a few hours after the league held probably its most important powwow, i actually got caught up in the hand-wringing: who would give a rat's ass about this frankenstein's monster of a conference?

but if it gets pulled off? boise state adds consequential wins, southern methodist and houston give us texas and strong programs, air force and navy give tradition and prestige.

don't let the door hit you on the way out, syracuse and pitt.

every conference has its bell cows and bottom feeders. this one would be no different.

after the top two, at the very least, the league would be competitive in and outside the conference.

and for what it's worth -- big east supporters in general and wvu fans in particular are going to have to get over this self-loathing that they believe only membership in a traditional -- read: southeastern -- conference will validate a program.

wvu fans need to channel their inner stuart smalley: we're good enough, we're strong enough, and, doggone it, people like us.

after the better part of five years being belittled for its cupcake teams in the western athletic conference, boise state, now in the mountain west, has bloodied the noses of the sec, acc and pac 12.

they've garnered so much respect that they're now seen as the last, best hope for saving the automatic bcs berth of the big east.

(and if all this comes to pass, we'll see how well the broncos will handle a schedule that promises a little more challenge, as well. the battle for standard bearer could become a lot more interesting.)

post-jobs

2011-10-14T22:54:00.011-04:00

the reaction elicited in the newsroom last week at the death of apple's steve jobs was not unlike that of learning michael jackson had died.

we kept talking about him and his company. the only business rock star we ever knew was gone.

and the proof of his impact was on our pc screens as we pointed and clicked around our desktop interfaces to drag and import words and pictures to report news of his passing in our newspaper.

from publishing to communications to music -- in all their myriad permutations -- his gift for seeing applications of technology touched everyone who uses the devices his company created or inspired.

(and this includes the snobby naysayers who regard macs and i-anythings as toys. it takes a lot of hard work to make something easy to use.)

his company mourned him.

silicon valley honored him.

even commerce tipped its hat.

i have a terrific loyalty to his thinking and products. his unique genius was once a generation.

i'm not sure if his successors will be able to continue that kind of vision and legacy.

he may never be replaced.

enjoying it while it lasts

2011-09-23T21:35:00.008-04:00

there's hype and hope on the eve of a top 25 matchup between no. 2 louisiana state university and no. 16 west virginia.

i'm just taking a second to drink it in before a game most experts and the rest of the country expects to be a beatdown.

we're front-page news at our hometown charleston daily mail, the first read of the day at pre-snap read (and then some), top of usa today's sports section and cycled through the lead at sports illustrated's home page (above) and college football page.

i and the rest of the mountaineer faithful are basking in the attention with an odd mix of tenuous hopes or audacious certainty of an upset.

today, there is still hope.

i'm trying to enjoy this moment of potential before what could be a bone-jarring and potentially heartbreaking crash to earth. (on the other hand, it could serve as the yummy appetizer to a feast of pigskin ecstasy.)

it's been a long time, but there's an odd comfort in donning the cape of underdog once more.

why couches are burned

2011-09-23T13:34:00.009-04:00

back in 2002, a sort-of humor columnist wrote this in the charleston daily mail to ensure the history of couch burning in morgantown was set straight:

Couch burning isn't new

As a responsible furniture owner, let me just say I was shocked by the reports of rampant couch burning by West Virginia University students after last week's upset of Virginia Tech.

What's the matter with these kids? Don't they know how much a good sectional couch costs?

Besides, in my day, burning things meant something. Sure, we wanted to burn sections of something - sections of town.

Those were the days when the legal drinking age was 18, our nearest rival, the University of Pittsburgh, was only a few years removed from their last national championship and cocky, future Hall of Fame quarterback Dan Marino stood behind center. We wanted to knock off someone big - anyone big.

By the time I got to school, our record against powerhouses such as Pitt and Penn State was dismal enough that I was told should we ever beat one of them, we would burn down Morgantown's legendary bar district, Sunnyside.

It was almost like a high-stakes bet, as if a big-time victory were so dear, we would sacrifice the thing nearest and dearest to an undergraduate's heart to achieve it. In this case, it was a row of wonderfully low establishments serving up our favorite frothy beverages.

That first year, down fell Oklahoma. Then, later, Pitt. And eventually, even Penn State.

Each time, as if from a congress of pigskin shamans, the incantation arose: "Sunnyside burns! Sunnyside burns!" But it never did.

Impromptu bonfires were lit, put out and re-started. And, yes, upholstery somehow got involved then, too.

Still, my friends and I knew that the handful of truly determined firebugs weren't in their right minds, just addled, excitable and in need of attention. We stood back and tried not to get in their way.

Once in a while, one of us would hoot. Mostly, we just raised our plastic cups, basked in the glow of a satisfying victory and worked up the nerve to talk to coeds. We were nerds.

Now, with zoning having mostly washed away the neighborhood's sudsy reputation, Sunnyside is but a sad shadow of its former glory, its value as the payoff to a big bet diminished. There's no sacrifice in what's essentially a stretch of sidewalk leading to off-campus housing.

Legends die hard. I can only guess that's the motivation behind this generation's celebratory pyromaniacs.

It makes for good copy. A blurb and a roll of the eyes on SportsCenter.

But in the presence of people who didn't attend my school, I feel like someone sitting with the in-laws' family at a wedding reception and watching a drunken, distant relative make a fool of himself. There's great love - and great embarrassment - at what should be a very happy occasion.

Nobody likes being in the hot seat.

Copyright 2002 Charleston Daily Mail

sucker punch

2011-09-19T06:49:00.009-04:00

i was a little embarrassed after west virginia u held on to beat maryland saturday and kris wondered why i had a look of concern on my face.

i told her i was thinking about housework when i was really worried about news that the university of pittsburgh and syracuse university were headed for the atlantic coast conference and abandoning the one they helped establish, the big east. (wvu's conference.)

i was pissed when three of the big east's original football powers (ca. 1994) -- miami, virginia tech and boston college -- were poached back in 2004 by the acc. it seemed like a stab in the back, especially by tech, given that wvu helped champion its bid to get into the big east in the first place.

so while it was nice to see its strategy pretty much imploded -- only tech has been of any help to its football image -- and its latest move seems a puzzling lateral, it's a shame to see a once-proud conference get knee-capped, especially by one its founding members.

still, that leaves the mountaineers with none of the marquee names the football side made its bones with. all we're left with are cast-offs from conference usa.

i'm sure after all the shouting is over, things will shake out over the next few days and there's a good chance we'll find a nice home, but for now, it feels like wvu has been left holding the bag.

boy oh boy

2011-09-16T22:55:00.012-04:00

you'd think after a nice, 12-hour night's sleep, you'd be in a good mood.

after waking, he was quite pleasant and chipper. but i think all that restfulness makes him not want to take naps. then, he just gets pissed.

made for an amazingly unproductive afternoon.

speaking of pissed, also today -- boy barges into bathroom as i've commenced to empty my bladder.

turns out trying to keep the lad from the commode now requires two hands. hilarity ensues.

yep. definitely not one of our better days.

coal bowl

2011-09-16T22:00:00.008-04:00

so here it is, two weeks late, mind you, but here, my first beer served at mountaineer field at good ol' west virginia u.

(ideally, would've been a miller lite, but the crowd made it tough to go searching for a vendor who sold it or anything else.)

my first season opener in i don't know how long. and my first wvu-marshall football game ever.

i work very hard to not get sucked into the back-and-forth that surrounds the game basically because i can dish it out, but can't take it.

it keeps me composed.

anyway -- the crowds were mostly polite to each other, aside from the sophomoric shouting from the undergrads in the parking lot at the school's guests.

the game had its usual shock -- this time, a punt return for a touchdown. but the team got untangled by the second half and seemed to be on its way to a comfortable lead when the big storm hit.

yeah, more weirdness. spectators were ordered from the bleachers because of lighting strikes.

kris' dad and i hit the road at this point because the idea of a delay, then another waiting for game traffic to dissipate did not portend a speedy trip back to parkersburg.

back in the day, i would have hung around and commiserated with other damp fans until the game re-started.

turned out we made the right decision. after two re-starts, the game never was completed and was called at 10:24 that night.

we listened on the radio to the what turned out to be the last touchdown while getting gas in clarksburg.

final: wvu 34, marshall 13.

countdown to kickoff

2011-08-29T23:35:00.007-04:00

ok, here's what's weird. here we are, at t-minus 6 days before west virginia university kicks off against marshall, and i think i've already had my fill of reading about the mountaineers.

up until maybe three weeks ago, i couldn't get enough preview stories and predictions for the upcoming football season.

now, meh.

it probably started with the hard-working pre-snap read overview that placed us at no. 21.

before that, espn, sports illustrated and the sporting news had weighed in.

and near the start of the month, the smoking musket wvu blog began posting daily again.

this, on top of a steady diet of mike casazza's blog updates that are as dependable and brilliant as the sunrise.

now ... i'm just full.

we're past the previews, past camp and into game-week preparation. now it's just navel-gazing and gossip.

maybe it's the birth of our baby girl in about four months and recognizing there's so much work to be done in the house.

i'm actually going to a number of games this year and these fall weekends are going to be crucial for preparation.

we have to get moving.

the time for planning and prognosticating is over.

i'm tired of reading and fretting. it's time to tee up the ball.

grasping at air

2011-08-23T03:41:00.010-04:00

this pic was shot about a month ago at the local playground, inside an inclined, tube-like contraption on the jungle gym that leads from one level to the next.

from the first time we set him loose at the park, he'd make his way into the tube and crawl about.

for most of the spring and summer, he'd only make it about halfway up before skittering down, unable to combine the amount of strength and traction necessary to make it up the other side.

by the time i shot this, he'd made it up all the way probably no more than three times out of the dozen or so visits we'd made.

today, kris took him to the playground and let him run about and he crawled up into the tube.

because he was wearing long pants, instead of shorts, he wasn't able to dig his knees in to scoot up, so he kept slipping down before he could crawl to the upper level.

the boy began beseeching "plee, plee" ("please, please" -- yeah, also new to the vocabulary) to no one in particular to make it the rest of the way.

kris heard his pathetic imploring and climbed her 5-months-pregnant self up the ladder to help him over. (i hope she refrains from doing this in future visits.)

the heartbreak from the boy doesn't end there, though.

kris also informs me that today, when he came across the timbers that held back the mulch surrounding the play equipment, he didn't wait and raise his hand so mommy could hold on as he's been doing when approaching steps.

he walked to the edge of the play area, waited for kris and began the motion as if he were going to raise his hand.

then he stopped and stepped downward on his own.

after a slight wobble, he righted himself -- and didn't wait for mommy's hand for any more steps that afternoon.

all this in a month. he's already beginning to shed his need for us.

everyone told us the time would fly. still, it's bewildering how our moments are barely upon us before they are gone.

don't go too far just yet, baby boy. stay a baby with us just a little longer before you become all boy.

get the yoke

2011-08-14T22:59:00.008-04:00

there's a little tradition in filipino wedding ceremonies in which an intertwined cord is laid on the shoulders of the bride and groom.

it is supposed to symbolize the yoke shared by husband and wife in the course of married life, where together they bear their burdens.

while i knew what it conveyed as a sentiment, today may have been the first time it hit home as a practical reality.

the boy in the picture woke up early today, not long after his pregnant mama.

the cat had awakened both kris and me numerous times with loud, long fits of meowing.

i was a little tired from helping a friend move her mom's belongings to a new house on saturday.

combined with an extended vacation sleep deficit hangover, and, well, it wasn't a pleasant morning for daddy.

i sat exhausted on the couch and actually uttered the phrase, "i don't see how i can go on."

thing was, it may have been a more trying day for mommy.

she was up before the sun -- not by choice, but likely a hormonal spike and/or a kicking baby -- then changed and fed a boy so rambunctious that he head-butted her in the teeth. she wept from the pain.

and still, when the boy wouldn't take his mid-morning nap, she told me to go back to sleep and insisted she take the boy to mass with her, so i could go on my own later.

i slept deeply enough in that hour that i dreamed. more importantly, that time bought me some needed rest after a fitful night's sleep. i don't think i conveyed to her how helpful that was to me at the start of my work week.

it didn't hit me until after work, though, that kris was doing exactly what we'd promised each other just over three years ago.

as i started my car, i realized i'm not carrying a load on my own -- i have a helpmate. we are a team.

today, she covered my back; i hope i'm doing a good job covering hers.

raising a family is work. days like today embody what it means to be working on a labor of love.

technical difficulties

2011-08-13T19:21:00.008-04:00

well, it was a good, three-year run.

that's how long i had my first digital camera, a hard-working casio ex-z77.

i killed it by putting it into the pocket of my swim trunks as i gathered our belongings from a morning at the beach almost two weeks ago.

i assumed that the minutes i was dripping dry while folding an umbrella and towels and organizing our stuff was long enough to not have much seepage into the camera body.

as i discovered at my sister's birthday dinner that night, i assumed wrong.

the thing wouldn't focus and hasn't since. (note image above, likely the last one it will take.)

i tried putting it into a bag with rice to dry it out, then added a couple of bags of silica desiccate to no avail.

and even if it had dried out to where the lens mechanism would work, i read that the salt would eventually corrode all the metal, so i would have only been buying time.

i used that camera on my honeymoon (it was a wedding present from my siblings), for the minutiae of our first year of marriage, cat photos, family portraits and the birth of our son.

it's a bummer to lose it.

here, i will also mention that the wireless backup to my hard drive is also on the fritz. it hasn't backed up since last month's blackout.

if bad things happen in threes, i don't want to think of the next piece of gear to go bad.

girl talk

2011-08-09T03:45:00.008-04:00

i think if you'd ask any of my female relatives or friends, they'd probably agree with my assessment that one of my purposes in this life is to exasperate women.

this appears to be a defensive posture, since i'm usually trying to keep them off balance, because, frankly, i rarely feel like i'm at an advantage in our dealings.

(haven't been able to shake this sense since, oh, second grade. they were then and remain mysteries to me.)

which is why monday's news at once delights and frightens me: kris and i are going to become the parents of a baby girl.

first and foremost, i am relieved and thankful that the ultrasounds show a healthy baby with everything where its supposed to be. that was and is my most fervent prayer.

and after writing that, i can see that my biggest anxiety -- besides the usual ones about taking good care of the child -- is of a teenage version of this person.

it was hard enough dealing with them in high school, now i'll have one in my house? am i ready to handle the drama? the pressure? the angst?

and the baby hasn't even been born yet.

of course, i'm sucking all the joy out of the news of a new life coming into our family.

and for what? phantom fears?

as with everything else in my life, my worries arise from the unknown, especially of things beyond our control.

i am going to have to trust and pray that we will raise children who will make wise choices. and after we've done our best at that, well, we'll leave it in God's hands.

if our lives weren't interesting enough with hurricane boy, i suspect they will become even more so with mystery girl.

hello computer

2011-08-06T23:04:00.007-04:00

sent a text to my sister on the drive down to myrtle beach:

just programmed the onboard computer to chart a course to kingston plantation. keep fingers crossed. i don't trust it.

sounds like something dr. mccoy would tell capt. kirk.

after years of dismissing the charms of gps navigation, not only did i reflexively use it on our family's trip, i followed its prompts with hardly any questions. (the latter being the kind of mindless, uncritical use of technology i claim to abhor.)

mostly, i did it because i was curious to see what course the computer in dad's new car would choose and if i could actually program it.

i used the touch screen to pinpoint on the map where we wanted to go since i was unable to figure out how to enter an actual address. i'm an impatient computer caveman like that.

after hitting "go," it plotted a course not unlike ones our family has used for years. the main difference was the shortcuts bypassing towns like hamlet and bennettsville, s.c.

(we may have also cut across a few fields on private or county roads. i couldn't tell; it was long past dark. we were driving on blind faith then.)

anyway, we got where we needed to go with no doubling back from wrong turns, so we saved some time. hearing the prompt "proceed on this course" offered reassurance we were on the right track once we'd moved onto the smaller state routes.

it was nice to follow, but i still trust maps and map reading too much to consider any garmin or tomtom purchases anytime soon for our own vehicles.

the trade-off

2011-07-31T00:59:00.008-04:00

this is my lovely wife on her last day of work, back in february. (can it have been so long ago?)

as our child peacefully slept, we sat at dinner friday, savoring her refrigerator clean-out invention -- french-italian marinated chicken with bean sprouts and pasta spiked with frank's red hot sauce -- she wondered if i regretted her decision to stop working.

my immediate response was "no." the rationale was more labored in its articulation.

i gestured at our repast, signifying the great pleasure i was deriving, not only from its melding of flavors, but the moment of being able to share it with her on my saturday.

when she was working as city editor, her weekends were conventional, saturday and sunday; as copy desk chief, mine were friday and saturday.

you'd think the overlap would suffice as time for togetherness. it wasn't.

by the time her weekend began, sometime after 3 on friday, i had been caring for a baby all day.

she was tired, i was tired. and -- as it was about time for the boy to wind down and go to bed -- neither of us had it left to cook, let alone enjoy a pleasant meal afterward.

all we wanted was sleep.

and come saturday, kris would let me sleep in, while she devoted her morning to him.

so by the time i was up and about, the morning was half-gone, and the day was pretty well filled with the stress of having to cram a weekend together, whether it was leisure or work, in the remaining hours of daylight.

kris was glad for the leisure of shopping -- not having to get everything done in one trip for a week. she can actually just leave for a few things and come back.

we don't have the financial cushion we were used to, but at the same time, we also got rid of the hard, hard chair it rested on.

hurricane boy

2011-07-29T20:38:00.010-04:00

getting tanked, a photo by grumpnet on Flickr.

the story really began yesterday.

that's when the boy employed the skills he learned at the playground climbing wall to attempt to scale our built-in book shelves.

luckily, he slipped on the second shelf and landed square on his keister.

later in the day, he used his inner monkey to convert the box that kept his blocks into a step stool for reaching another shelf and taking the jar containing his mama's dried bridal bouquet petals and sprinkling them into his toybox.

(he was lucky the box -- not resting on its wide mouth, but on its tapered side -- didn't slip out from under him.)

you'd think those would be his major accomplishments in mischief for the week.

as the boy got his breakfast appetizer going this morning on the cat's perch, none of us had any idea what this day would have in store.

after a hearty meal of eggs, banana and oatmeal, the boy set after the cat, invariably grabbing her haunches or her tail.

otto had about as much as she could take when she wheeled and nipped him on the forearm.

the boy licked his wound before starting after her again. this time, he was grabbing her by both ears and yanking as if he were trying to pull them off.

so i took him outside.

before long, we were on the back porch, where he went for a bag of charcoal ashes, a can of insecticide and my bike chain.

we wound up in the front yard again, where he dragged the broom he was wielding like a scepter out back.

we visited our next door neighbor and he knocked on their door. i was surprised when one of her boys answered. i laughed and waved as he shut it.

with not a little protest, he was taken indoors again. he was due some hydration after our time in the mid-morning hotbox that's been the kanawha valley these past few weeks.

i set him in front of the fridge while i diluted some milk for him.

in the few seconds it took to pour into his sippy cup and close the fridge, made his way toward the cat as she ate.

as i lifted him off the floor, he snatched at the dish, spilling its contents.

i set him over the baby gate with his cup, while i went to clean the spill.

the brown handprint on the floor did not bode well.

mama was out of the shower and greeting the boy when i asked if she saw poop on his hands.

yup.

then i saw the turdlet that must have been stuck to otto's fur before it dropped to the floor.

a change of clothes and a bath later, we were headed for town. i laid on the couch in a fetal position until i had to get dressed.

he was actually pretty good in the backpack as i visited the newsroom to do a little work, went to the bank with his mom, then paid property taxes at the courthouse.

we picked mama up at the library, then ran into our buddy jon, who got married a few weeks ago. this was his first time to meet the boy.

once home, we ate lunch -- he ate two sausage links, a slice of cheese and half a box of raisins. a pretty big-ass meal for him.

he napped and i tried to nap.

while in bed, i missed him waking up, then clambering up the dining room chair, before finally climbing and kneeling on the table.

such progress for only a day and a half. at least was tired enough after supper that he went to bed without much fuss.

so ... to recap. in about 36 hours, the boy:

learned to climb shelves
learned to create makeshift stepstools
lost all fear of the cat
handled varieties of dirt, poison and grease
displayed lightning grab reflexes
smashed poop that wasn't his
summitted his first dining room table

i can hear roller coaster chains clanking.

(in his defense, he also ate three really good meals, spoke on the phone to both grandmothers, behaved well in a newsroom, branch bank and two county government buildings, had a nice, 2-hour nap and mostly slept through the night. i'll take it.)

Via Flickr:
otto is right to eye the boy on her perch. he would later be chasing her around the living room and pullng her tail and ears. she let him know that wasn't cool.

blackout

2011-07-24T22:59:00.007-04:00

at the moment, around 05:30 hours, saturday 23 july, i'm writing in apple's textedit program because the internet is out.

up until about midnight, the power was out -- and had been for about four hours. i suspect we got off lucky.

this stormy summer, while the area has experienced numerous blackouts -- some lasting for days -- we've made it through with nary a flicker.

our number came up last night. and, of course, it was only fitting that it happen on an evening when we were expecting company.

luckily, kris was making a simple meal of pizza and the last, lurching surges of electricity continued just long enough for her to finish the toppings.

the thunderstorm announced itself for about half an hour with deep rumbles.

when it finally arrived, it was with fat, heavy drops, and then buckets of rain with explosive cracks of lightning that seemed like they were just above the treetops.

then it just parked itself on top of us. i began thinking about the great red spot on jupiter.

i can't say i can remember such a heavy and sustained downpour here in a long, long time.

the boy was getting antsy because it was near his bedtime, but i was able to keep him occupied watching the windows get streaked and splashed with the torrent spilling down from the roof.

i was pleased and impressed that the thunder didn't seem to faze him. with every boom, i expected a frightened cry, but he carried on as usual, even as i was putting him to bed.

by that time, we had no power, so i closed the door to his room to enter a house now heated by a gas oven with windows shut and no air conditioning.

i grew apprehensive at the thought of adding two more warm bodies to the mix with the oppressive humidity we'd been smothered with this week waiting to spread inside.

while the pizzas cooked, i drank a guinness that had been waiting in the fridge and sent out an all-points electricity check to a few friends in various parts of the city.

west side out. fort hill out. corridor g ok. my east end friends' numbers were in my other phone and i couldn't remember if my kanawha city friends were in town.

by its end, the storm mercifully took a lot of the moisture out of the air, so when our friends heidi and jamie arrived right around dusk, we were able to open windows and get a nice crosswind.

(coming in from huntington, there were half a mile from the exit, when they were stuck by flooding on the interstate. people actually backed up their cars from the rising water. jamie said a couple of guys got out of their cars to clear the culverts of debris and allow the roads to drain.)

the visit itself was quite nice. there was muted chat and lots of low laughs by candlelight. they'd kindly brought beer and heidi had made a chocolate cake from scratch, which was amazing in its dense richness.

and the pizzas rocked.

i can't remember a summer as stormy as this. i wonder if this is part of the climate change we've been warned about and if this is something we're going to have to get used to.

schedule rhythm

2011-07-21T08:03:00.004-04:00

my housework schedule is linked to the one in the newsroom.

the days after my monday and tuesday are spent mostly trying to rest from the shock of returning to work. kris lets me sleep in after the baby wakes up.

come wednesday and thursday, the energy begins to return and i'm up with the baby for childcare, although then i need to take a nap before heading to the paper.

by friday, i know i have two days coming for r&r, and i can push myself from an early rise to take out the trash all the way to getting out our second edition.

i've come to accept this as the present state of my reality and have stopped wondering why i'm so listless early in the week.

in about four months, this is probably going to change when baby no. 2 arrives on the scene.

stay tuned.

wee folks and small talk

2011-07-17T22:30:00.012-04:00

i took a day off work in anticipation of a shindig for a 40th birthday bash for my sister and her two crib mates, joy and perky.

(this is not my sister; she is perky's sister.)

i figured during the night and ensuing day, there'd be a lot of socializing and catching up and commiserating with old friends and i didn't want to miss it.

thing is, there was a small variable i didn't account for. he's a smidge over 2 feet tall and weighs about 25 pounds. yeah, that one.

almost everyone i wanted to see saturday was there. but i didn't get to say more than "hi" and "how are you" before i had to chase after the boy.

and even if the boy was with someone, i was distracted enough by his breakaway potential that i couldn't focus on the person with whom i was speaking.

mostly what came out of my mouth were chit-chatty non sequiturs, like so many one-liners to fill the space where personal interest should have been.

i'm not particularly upset, just a little taken aback by how i'd wrongly assumed i could simply plug back in to my old social habits despite the very evident change that my life has undergone.

it's odd that i thought somehow my relationships with those outside the home would remain static when those within have progressed so substantially.

adjusting to life with a toddler is like gaining weight then having to learn which clothes fit only after trying them on.

you have to re-learn for every situation since you don't know which outfits you'll be wearing from event to event.

some parts of your life slip on like a trusty t-shirt and are about the same as before. others will have to wait until things are back to "normal," and some, i suspect, you'll never get back to again.

i think, now that the boy is mobile at gatherings, i'm going to have to seek strategic sitters i can trust for more than five minutes at a time so i can actually engage again.

and if that doesn't work ... well, we'll catch up in about 10 years or so.

thunder and lightning

2011-07-15T01:05:00.003-04:00

meet the one-two punch that's threatening to knock out mommy.

seriously, the boy's been on something of a tear this week -- waking up pissy and throwing these amazing hour-long temper tantrums.

kris tried taking him over to a friend's for supper last night and he made such a fuss while over there that she said she wasn't ever going to take him out in public again.

and the cat? she's just getting fat. so fat that she can't clean herself. so fat that the cling-ons don't cling very long and fall off after her visits to the litter box.

kris has threatened to kick her out of the house if she ever steps in the cat's stuff again.

hopefully all this is just a passing phase or the next 18 years or so are going to be very interesting.

nature walk

2011-06-30T23:46:00.009-04:00

i like calling summer the unwanted guest that i hate to see leave.

by that, i mean i do not look forward to scorching temperatures and stifling humidity.

but at the same time, once i start seeing those yellow leaves start landing on the porch, i begin mourning the passing of the growing season and, in turn, another year.

in a weird way, i can dig limited exposure to the humidity this time of year in that it's sort of the acceptance of summer's calling card. it's one of the season's hallmarks.

when combined with the lush greenery of our wooded subdivision, it feels so ... at one.

this, however, was one of those rare summer days that most people are really wishing for when they've grown tired of cold, gray winter and dream of warm weather.

the sun was high in a cloudless sky. the temps were in the low 80s. the humidity was barely palpable. it was a good day for a walk.

the boy and i make it out on the road at least once a week through the neighborhood now.

even though we headed out past noon, the weather was just about perfect for being outdoors. it felt more like a spring nature walk.

our neighborhood streets are dotted with lovely, colorful gardens. i like to point out to the boy the flowers we see along the way.

i used to try to identify them for him, but this week tried to keep it simple by just saying "flower" and naming the color.

afterward, i'd explain what type of flower i thought it was. (luckily, there were many daisy varities and day lilies in a a variety of reds, oranges, golds and yellows.)

today, we visited the danner meadow playground, where we met a 4-year-old boy named dallas, from hurricane, his mom and, later, his grandmother.

dallas was sweet and seemed to enjoy having someone to play with. he even offered to have the boy stay with him and his mom and grandmother there while i went to work.

believe me, kid, on a day like today, if i could have spent the rest of the afternoon in the park, i probably would have.

little baggariddim

2011-06-25T23:50:00.006-04:00

i try not to use the term "killing time" anymore when it comes to keeping the boy engaged and occupied.

it connotes making minutes pass as quickly as possible, as if to get something unpleasant or boring out of the way.

i think i've come to prefer "filling the empty hour," which seems somewhat more positive with possibility and enrichment.

after all, aren't these the years parents wish they could have back when their children are older, then grown? why not make this time count?

(you can tell i'm writing this when i've not been sleep-deprived the past couple of days.)

this summer, filling those hours has been facilitated by a combination of the boy's increased mobility now that he walks, a blossoming of his curiosity, and the beginning of warm weather.

the boy loves being outside. if he's not out long enough to satiate his desire to pick up gravel and sticks and rearrange our yard, he gets very put out.

i get my exercise walking the boy in his backpack carrier. we began with long walks around the neighborhood, but lately have attached to them walks to the park, so as to tire his little ass out at the playground.

this week's festivall arts event provided yet another opportunity to get the boy out and about.

he got to experience more live music at the chili fest last weekend, then got to watch balloon dinosaurs get made, and today, he was able to bang drums to his heart's content.

having the great outdoors as a go-to for the boy to release pent-up energy has me already dreading winter in that it may well limit what we can do.

on the other hand, leaves and snow do offer other possibilities, don't they?

(i write this knowing the novelty of playing with a little boy may wear off. but i'm going to enjoy this as best i can while i can.)

friends

2011-06-25T22:57:00.004-04:00

in the span of about 24 hours, two friends of mine began two new journeys.

my friend, pam, whom i've known since 11th grade chemistry class, headed out of town today to put behind her some crushingly sad memories and begin a new chapter in her life.

she'd lived, learned and worked all her life in the mountain state, so it was with great difficulty she made the decision to go.

pam and i reacquainted ourselves on election day 2000 at our polling place at holz elementary.

and from that day until friday, we managed to meet, usually with another friend, tim, over beverages and supper almost every month for about 10 years.

the three of us managed to pull each other through rough times and celebrate happy ones, including my marriage to kris and the birth of our son.

that they accepted and loved her -- and she, them -- has meant all the world to me.

i've already started missing her.

my other friend, jon, got married today.

i've known him since i started working at the paper back in '98.

that we shared a similar affinity and appreciation of the absurd is probably what made us friends.

he's a great bear of a man with an amazingly sharp mind, keen knowledge of weaponry and a kind, loyal heart. just don't cross him or those he cares for.

as sad as i was to return to the paper almost immediately after he quit to go to law school six years ago, i was glad that he was on his way to a career that would challenge his intellect.

i always said after the hellish uncertainty following our paper's purchase by our rival that he was probably the only one of our staff that year who was propelled to something better as a result.

and the girl who helped him through that patch is the girl he married today.

if one needs further evidence that he picked the right one, one need only have witnessed his bride's processional, when the assembly played for her the wedding march -- on kazoos.

that, friend, is a fun way to begin a life together.

may the good Lord bless and keep them -- all these, my friends.

father's day

2011-06-19T23:51:00.010-04:00

yes, another crappy photo from my non-smartphone.

this was from yesterday afternoon, where the boy and i spent a couple of hours on kanawha boulevard sopping up the remains of chili fest.

(this used to be part of a big drinking weekend when i was a singleton -- and even after the first year of kris' and my marriage, back when were still dinks.)

saturday it was just me and the boy, mostly to keep out of mama's hair for a bit so she could rest from tangling with him all day.

it was a pretty good afternoon with him in the backpack and then toddling about in the water mist cooling station (it was all i could do to get him away from it), a change of wet clothes and diaper -- buck naked in the park -- then around the riverfront stage area, and finally in a makeshift sandbox where he got good and dirty.

(that led to a second visit to the water mister to clean him off. then the two of us went under just for fun.)

we started off father's day today with a nice walk around the neighborhood, which helped tire him out enough to lead to an amazing three and a half hour nap after his lunch.

this gave me the chance for a one and a half hour nap before work -- during which he and his mama brought me a bacon bleu cheese burger from murad's for supper. happy father's day to me.

p.s. -- for the record of his future therapist, i did my first non-fun dad thing thursday when i administered my first spanking to the boy, when he was approximately 15 months old.

after being a real pissant all morning, he began throwing a tantrum when kris went to get something out of the car and wasn't allowed to follow her out.

i picked him up to continue his lunch, whereupon he swatted the spoon and its contents out of my hand and onto the floor. i wheeled him around and swatted him on his diapered keister.

the tantrum stopped, but he looked shocked and sad. i'm sure i did, too.

for the record

2011-06-19T23:31:00.006-04:00

friday, i stumbled onto a surprise sort of going away party for john merrill on the day before he would close what's likely the state's last real photography store.

i was headed up hale street to check out some art exhibits for this week's festivall arts fest and wound up watching area photographers fete the owner.

mr. merrill shook hands with friends standing near the counters and, as i was the last guy standing there trying to stay out of the way, he gave my hand a shake and a sort of embarrassed smile for not knowing who i was.

i shot this pic is of him and two area photogs with my stupid cell phone. (makes me really wish i had an iphone.) at his left is steve payne, a local portrait photographer. the guy at his right is the fellow who gave him a print of the merrill photo shop he shot a few years ago.

i spoke to my buddy chip, who used to shoot for the daily mail before heading over to the gazette. he was going to take a big group pic.

he said that there won't be another shop like merrill's in this state. he echoed the sentiment that steve payne gave in that the shop stocked everything a film photographer could need, from large format film to printing supplies.

i was tempted to buy some digital camera on clearance, but chose not to spend money i didn't have. i think i'm only going to have to settle for the bottle of lens cleaner and cleaning cloth i bought a couple of months ago.

chickens, gold and blue

2011-06-10T22:23:00.012-04:00

given the great glee with which i pilloried ohio state's football peccadilloes last month, the chickens have come to roost ... in an unwanted media attention sort of way.

what transpired in the weeks since word broke about dana holgorsen, then-offensive coordinator for west virginia university's football team, and a late night incident in a casino has devolved from salacious to just sad.

the rumor mill ginned up, wvu investigated their sources, and, long story short, bill stewart is out as head coach and holgorsen has ascended from head-coach-in-waiting.

the new york times seemed to be the only national publication that bit on the more salacious aspects of the story.

so consider that as kind of a blessing, considering how overly sensitive west virginians are in general to out-of-state embarrassments. outside our borders, no one seemed to give a rat's ass.

all the moaning and wailing from wvu fans and critics that the incident gives the state a black eye seem to have overestimated the attention anyone pays to the program.

the national sports commentators seem less focused on the soap opera that riveted mountaineer fans than what they deem a cock-up of personnel management.

sports illustrated calls athletic director oliver luck "the architect of the worst coach-in-waiting plan ever conceived."

the sporting news says the incident "has stained the reputation of one of the few administrators in college football bold enough to do what’s right."

espn was kinder, in saying that "wvu's divided house destined to fall," the whole premise of coaches-in-waiting never works well.

the scorn, i suppose, comes from folks who believe the job of administrators to be cruelly efficient and make difficult decisions is cut and dried easy.

i'll have to say it's the wvu apologist in me that says luck probably tried to have things both ways: giving super nice guy stewart a chance for a graceful, possibly glorious, exit, while retaining the services of one of the hottest names in college football.

if luck is guilty of anything, it's probably misplaced faith.

faith that the guy who was being asked to train the guy who was going to take his job would get over his bruised ego, swallow his pride and be the good soldier.

the critics were likely cynical enough and had seen before that few are immune to the hard feelings that can result from being, in essence, fired.

i guess i was also guilty of luck's sin.

i had a great belief that stewart was that selfless a man that he would suffer the indignity of being shown the door with bowed back and jutted jaw.

i figured if he felt he couldn't, he'd quit.

that he didn't, and that things ended this way, showed in spectacular fashion that he is merely human.

saturday is bill stewart's 59th birthday. i can't imagine what that day will be like.

schadenfreude

2011-05-31T01:39:00.012-04:00

it's gotta be the part of me that likes the university of michigan that is giving me such glee over the shit storm parked over ohio state.

seriously, i've disliked them since before bo schembechler retired back in the late '80s.

i can only guess that some combination of my uncle having received a graduate degree there and osu's record of futility against the wolverines prior to the ascent of head coach jim tressel were enough for me to hold the buckeyes in such disdain.

well, there's that and the insufferable smugness of ohio state fans and the amazingly pretentious "the" before the school's name.

(today's news tops one of my favorite opinion pieces which came following the buckeyes' second straight ass-whipping at the hands of a southeastern conference foe in the national title game.)

so seeing their comeuppance today in jettisoning their football coach to save the program was immensely gratifying.

i'm listening now to espn radio pile on to what espn, the sporting news, yahoo sports and, the precipitator to osu's endgame, sports illustrated have written about tressel's cover-up of ncaa violations.

knowing that west virginia university is now facing its own embarrassment with an out-of-control coach, i recognize i am the pot calling the kettle black.

odd as it sounds, though, having the indiscretion happen so publicly is that it merely reveals a weakness of the flesh. it's one man having an openly bad night out, not an institution covering up its impropriety.

tressel, as much as it galls me to say it, assembled and led teams with excellence. that he did so with an apparent moral rectitude made it even more unbearable -- yet admirable.

that he didn't reveals a weakness in character. that the university served as his apologist and enabler smells like hypocrisy.

while i'm sorry for the man -- and it's wrong and unadvisedly judgmental of me to say so -- i'm taking a perverse pleasure in watching high-and-mighty buckeye nation laid low as a result.

baby culture vulture

2011-05-30T01:58:00.009-04:00

summer festival time is upon us in the capital city.

what used to be an occasion for socializing for me and the missus has now become an opportunity to burn off some of our toddler's seemingly inexhaustible supply of energy.

last week, we took in the charlie west blues fest out at haddad riverfront park.

it was a smaller crowd than i anticipated, given the event was free. but it was also the first weekend of clear weather we'd had in some time, so maybe people were doing yard work. that, and it's the first time the concerts have been held on the river. folks probably aren't used to it yet.

i looked forward to a combination of live blues, street vendor food and beer.

(here i will say i was disappointed with my philly cheese steak sandwich. i think mine wound up with lots of the burned meat scrapings from the griddle.)

the acts, on the other hand, were first-rate. strong performances and enthusiastic sets. give this music festival a couple of more years at this location and i bet this thing's going to blow up.

this weekend, i attended my first vandalia gathering out on the grounds of the capitol complex.

i looked forward to this because i thought the boy would enjoy watching players and dancers up close.

given that he was melting down a bit from the lack of a mid-morning nap and his vantage point perched on my shoulders, i couldn't tell how much he was actually watching.

he seemed to derive his greatest pleasure in clambering up the capitol steps, followed by picking up sticks, then grabbing fistfuls of mulch and putting it in his shoes.

(for what it's worth, i enjoyed watching regional talent performing traditional appalachian music and exposing the boy to the culture of his home state.)

we spent about an hour there as i walked, then carried him, before finally putting him back in his backpack carrier for the 2-mile trek back to the car.

he fell asleep about two blocks away from the cn papers parking garage.

tv timeout

2011-05-27T21:57:00.013-04:00

at the moment, kris and i are thinking we've ruined our child by exposing him to television and online video.

he does seem to like it. if he's tired, he'll watch until his eyes glaze over. if he's rambunctious, he'll watch until he's ready to get out of his exer-saucer.

last year, when i was killing time with the boy, i'd break out the laptop and watch sesame street's youtube channel to see what would make him react.

once he fell asleep, i'd surf the web with the babe on one arm.

the first thing i can remember him smiling at was a sequence featuring actor jonah hill teaching elmo about mustaches.

until he got bored with it, the boy would grin at the sight gag punchline. he was about 7 months old.

earlier this year, kris said studies recommend not exposing children to screens of any sort until they're at least 2 -- adverse effects on learning development and all that.

oops.

on the other hand, we haven't stopped.

we are concerned, however, that watching video has become part of his pre-sleep routine. we're working on that.

my earliest recollections of video are mostly of cartoons.

we lived in new brunswick, n.j., and miami, fla., at this time, so that puts me between 1- and 5-years-old.

(weird thing was, i never saw them on the tube once we moved to west virginia.)

i have no recollection of plots, but the sounds and pictures are fairly well burned into my brain.

while i have memories of cool action cartoons like "space ghost" and "the herculoids," the ones i remember best had good theme music.

a few domestic cartoons stood out for their choruses, but not necessarily their verses. among them were "the skyhawks," "the cattanooga cats" and "the super six."

for some reason, the ones i can more or less still hum today are from japan.

the most familiar is probably "speed racer." (which unfortunately doesn't allow embedding.)

my recollection of "gigantor" is its signature chorus, but watching its opening now, i didn't remember it having a calypso beat.

"kimba the white lion" had a happy little tune. i don't recall much about the show other than it was about a brave lion cub.

to this day, the theme to "marine boy" still pops into my head more than 40 years after i first watched the adventures of the very special undersea hero. (mom even made me a few cardboard boomerangs which i'd tuck into a rubber band on my arm. darned things never did fly back to me, though.)

it was either this show's theme or the next one that even got me started hunting up these intros on the youtube.

this one i definitely remember from living in florida because i had my mom help me make a super medallion like the one "prince planet" wore.

i never forgot the melody to this tune, but once i found the videos, i was surprised that the opening credits were sung by a children's chorus.

(in what's likely a mixed blessing, since mgm is forward-thinking enough to post entire episodes of the show on its youtube site, you can actually watch the show -- and see how ridiculous the storylines were. if you have any memories of the shows, you might just want to keep them pristine and stop after the theme music.)

there is a quaintness to these anime themes, such as the punctuating xylophone in the "prince planet" intro.

unlike modern children's fare, which as often as not has a rock influence in its music, these little ditties capture a historical and cultural moment.

first of all, coming from japan, these shows had to translated to english.

additionally, at the time of their importation, in the early to mid-60s, the songs reflect the music of the era in its most inoffensive way. there was no "edge" from the times -- kind of easy listening, if you will.

of course, with little "astro boy," it's nice to hear the old-fashioned echoes of "mighty mouse" in its strains.

(actually, i don't really remember the theme music, as it made its first run in this country before i was even born, but i do remember the character. i even had an astroboy halloween costume, mask and all.)

while i won't say all that screen time stunted my development, i did wind up in cobbling together a shameful career in journalism.

i hope it's not too late to save our own astro boy.

faceless

2011-05-24T23:55:00.012-04:00

i suppose you can sort of blame the rapture for my disappearance from the facebook.

i deactivated my account some time sunday morning and have been going social network free ever since.

after the prophesy of a mass disappearance of christians went unfulfilled saturday evening, a friend from south carolina posted an image of Jesus Christ about to receive an atomic elbow from late wrestling superstar macho man randy savage.

savage had died in a car crash the day before. the artist cobbled together the image suggesting that the wwf legend, now in heaven, saved the planet from the Lord's hand by, well, taking Him down.

it was as ludicrous and laughable an illustration as it was likely blasphemous. still, it struck me as funny.

i posted it on a friend's facebook page, since i figured he'd appreciate it better than a number of my friends in the clergy would if they'd seen it on my page.

by morning, catholic guilt had given me second thoughts and i removed the post. then i took the extra step of deactivating my account entirely.

why?

i think it was my constant toggling back to the site in my free moments for reaction on an otherwise productive weekend of housework, child rearing and reading sports.

the frequency was mildly disconcerting. i think i needed a break.

three days in, i do find myself thinking of things i'd like to have posted on my page to share with my online friends.

of course, i did that even while my account was active, but rarely followed through.

the empty minutes after finishing tasks on the computer remain empty. i feel a gentle tug to fill them with peeks over the online fence at my friends' doings.

i'm not off the site for good. i'm just trying to see how long i can go without -- and wondering what will finally drive me over to reactivate.

extortionist

2011-05-20T23:07:00.006-04:00

the cat has discovered she can get all the food she wants by strategic meowing.

previously, we could ignore her vocalizing and feed her according to a morning and evening schedule.

if she ran out of food, well, sorry. come back in 12 hours or so.

the little beast has somehow figured how to keep her bowl not only full, but piled high by meowing near the sleeping boy's room. loudly.

kris or i would get out of bed to feed her just to get that stripey extortionist to shut up so as not to wake the baby.

now we just buy her silence with heaping mounds of cat food all day and night to preemptively buy her silence.

this is kitty hush money, pure and simple. if she were an outdoor cat, she'd have been out the door weeks ago.

Via Flickr:
somebody wanted fed ... yesterday.

carry on

2011-05-09T22:45:00.002-04:00

for posterity's sake, yesterday, mother's day, marked another first for me and the boy.

he'd skipped the only chance at a nap before joining his cousins and grandparents for brunch at the embassy suites downtown.

once there, he was focused on not eating (threw a piece of waffle at lola -- "grandma" in tagalog) and all about staying awake and walking and keeping up with his mobile cousins.

lucky for him, my nieces were all about keeping an eye on their little cousin, so he was in good hands.

at the end of the outing, i was pretty sure all the hugs and kisses and chasing had worn his little ass out.

how much so was not evident until the drive home by way of kroger to get some milk.

i opened the back door to find the boy passed out in his car seat.

he never stirred. not even with the sunlight hitting him, nor the unbuckling of his harnesses, not even my careful lifting him from his seat.

i gingerly put his head on my shoulder and pressed him against me and walked him to the house.

kris waited at the door and i tilted my head as i closed my eyes to indicate he was asleep.

she was astounded.

she directed me to his room, where the final hurdle awaited.

so sleepy was this boy that he didn't even stir when i laid him in the crib. he was knocked out. (for the next three hours, i learned later.)

this was my first carrying of a sleeping child to bed.

lil' baby frankenstein

2011-05-09T22:08:00.003-04:00

the boy has really begun walking; enough so that it's now become his chosen mode of transportation.

(if he really needs to get someplace in a hurry, though, he still hunkers down and skitters on all fours.)

when kris left last week to spend a few days with her folks, i predicted, despite my hopes otherwise, that he'd start walking there.

i was headed home from the grocery store the day of their return friday when i got a call from kris.

"where are you?"

after i told her i was driving home, she told me to hurry. i knew something was up.

sure enough, i got to the door to see the boy standing with his mama. not an unusual sight, given that he'd been standing with some support and on his own for the past few months.

then she said, "walk to daddy."

tentatively, unsteadily, frankenstein-like, he tottered in my direction before i caught him in my arms.

my heart rose and sank at the same time.

i was so pleased and proud to see our child taking meaningful steps.

by the same token, seeing him at mama's knee, standing at his wee, full height, then turning and ambulating toward me signified the end of his being a baby and the start of his becoming a little boy.

say what you will about changing diapers and feeding and crying and refusing to sleep.

these days of tiny bodies with tiny bones infused with simple affection and trusting innocence will vanish in a flash.

and i will miss them.

the dry spell

2011-05-09T21:39:00.003-04:00

we've reached that point in the sports year where you really have to look hard for stuff to read if you're a fan of college sports.

even one of my favorite blogs, the smoking musket, has gone on summer hiatus, posting weekly, rather than daily aggregations.

ergo, i offer kudos to those folks doing it for a living who manage to write every day, especially now and especially about my beloved west virginia university mountaineers:

wvu sports with mike casazza: smart, funny, thoughtful opinionating with a fine cast of commenters.
wvu illustrated: an offshoot of west virginia media beats the bushes for fresh content daily.
mountaineer sports net: the official mouthpiece of wvu athletics.
the pre-snap read: n.y. times writer covers college football and is days into the 120-team countdown leading to the first fall kickoff.
inside wvu: a new blog, by pittsburgh tribune review wvu beat reporter tony dobies. looking forward to the lad feeding the beast on a daily basis.

normally, i'd say the next few months can't go by fast enough.

but as i'm watching my son grow up before my very eyes, i'm loathe these days to wish for time to pass any faster than it does. (that's us at mountaineer field, about this time last year. he's outgrown the car seat and has begun to really walk.)

triduum

2011-04-21T23:18:00.006-04:00

i suppose it was my own vanity that made me believe i could be my own profane, potty-mouthed, 12-year-old version of myself that spoke to the Lord in the privacy of my room and bore witness to Him one-on-one with those in need of comfort, strength or guidance and still call myself a follower of Christ.

i felt i was being untrue to myself in acting overbearingly pious, as i can be ill-tempered and astoundingly sophomoric.

while i still believe that, i wonder if the way i live my daily life in all its imperfection while practicing an equally imperfect faith also smacks of hypocrisy.

i think of these things as we enter the triduum before easter.

i didn't make it to confession as i would have liked before holy week.

and the days preceding today, holy thursday, were chockablock with terrific stumbles in both deed and word.

surely, i was unworthy of the sacrifice of a life to atone for my weakness.

but my faith tells me it is precisely that sacrifice that gives me hope that i can rise above and be saved from those impediments to perfection.

such it is with love.

camera shy

2011-04-17T02:55:00.002-04:00

kris doesn't like getting her picture taken, so it means a lot when she allows me to post some of her.

this is one of my new favorites, shot just the other day at the hoppy shores playground over at coonskin park.

the weather was about perfect in the low 70s and partly cloudy.

the boy burned off a lot of energy in that hour or so, crawling around on ground tires and climbing stations and flying around on the swings.

he went straight to bed after supper without a fight. slept for about 13 hours. the day was a joy and a miracle.

yum-o

2011-04-17T01:26:00.003-04:00

have i mentioned kris is a good cook? i'm pretty sure i have.

when we first started seeing each other and she'd swing by the bachelor pad, i did all the cooking. it was basic stuff -- steaks, grilled chicken, pasta -- just fancy enough to let the girl know i was self-sufficient.

but after the great daily mail exodus of 2004, we found ourselves that fall in south carolina on opposite schedules -- me off during the mornings, she free in the evenings. she wound up watching lots of food network.

i think thanksgiving was the first big meal she tried on me. we figured we'd have our own little feast before i had to go to work.

as i recall, she wasn't pleased with the results. i thought it was fine. i don't think she liked the way the bird cooked up.

when we were repatriated in the summer of 2005, kris amped up the cookery for her roommate, jake, and me, as i was over just about every night.

she got in a lot of practice and discovered she had a good sense of the alchemy required for going off recipe and actually creating dishes on the fly.

i eventually got eased out of the kitchen, with most of my duties having been relegated to the grill and toaster.

now, i take pictures of her results and hope they convey just part of the luckiness and blessings i possess in having married well.

sleepy mcsleeperson

2011-04-04T01:03:00.007-04:00

opening our boy's bedroom door after i come home from work provides both a sense of relief and wonder.

after carefully turning the knob, i push back the door and try to catch the whiff and temperature of his dark room before tuning out the sounds of the house.

then i stand in the doorway, listening, listening until ... until ...

there.

the filling of two small lungs with little breaths.

in.

and out.

in.

and out.

in gentle, wispy rhythm, filling exactly as needed for a tiny body at rest.

i thank the Lord for his health and stand for a moment amazed at this wee, swiss watch of a human in our house.

thank you, Lord.

missed chances

2011-03-19T21:43:00.002-04:00

just thinking about those couple of days when i drove myself to stay up and get good and tired, knowing without having to look after the boy, i'd have all morning to sleep it off.

well, i never did -- either morning. i stupidly left my phone near the bed.

now i'm just as tired as i ever was, if not more so.

i'm an idiot.

now what?

2011-03-19T21:32:00.002-04:00

same thing every spring. last west virginia loss after the thrill of the post-season and then ... nothing.

my normal online sports fix go-to's don't have the same flavor with my mountaineers out of the picture. the closest thing i have to look forward to is six months away when wvu kicks off against marshall.

of course, there is life to attend to -- particularly the yard and this pesky ant infestation going on in the house -- so i suppose it's good to have no distractions going on.

and think about it ... in six months, i'm fairly certain the boy will toddling around and getting into even more mischief than he is already.

do i really want to fast-forward my already sleep- and energy-deprived body any further than its already extended?

last day

2011-03-19T20:38:00.004-04:00

so the missus and i had this agreement.

my west virginia university banner goes up at the start of football season and comes down whenever the basketball team is done playing.

the mountaineers made it to the final four last year, so it stayed up well into april, whereupon our agreement slipped her mind and i conveniently neglected to tell her.

she remembered at the end of football season this year. i told her we still had a few months to go.

so we lost today to the same kentucky wildcats we beat to get into the final four last year.

considering the bad turn we had with the supposed stars of this year's freshman class, we're lucky to have made it into the ncaa's in the first place.

say what you will about bob huggins, he knows how to work with what he's got. i think he squeezed blood from the proverbial stone to get us where we finished today.

going down by eight with a team as thin as ours was wasn't a bad loss, all things considered.

so ... i'll do the honorable thing and take it down ... tomorrow.

single-minded

2011-03-18T03:26:00.003-04:00

this was something i used to do fairly regularly: go out nights and enjoy beverages with friends.

i make note of this in the wee hours of the morning after st. patrick's day because i'm on the tail end of about 48 hours of bachelorhood while the missus and the baby visit grandma and papaw so i can set poison ant traps throughout the house.

i had to fill in on the late shift so one of my staffers could get ready for an early morning flight.

it was well past 1 a.m. when i pulled onto kanawha boulevard to head home when i noticed people spilled out onto the sidewalks.

"oh yeah," i remembered. "it's saint paddy's."

and, with no one waiting at home for me, i actually entertained the idea of parking the car, walking into a tavern and having a beer for old time's sake.

some combination of maturity, better judgment or tiredness dissuaded me from harmless trouble. why risk it?

coming home to a house empty but for a hungry cat, i was able to move heedless of any noise i might make.

i left the bathroom door open while i showered. i took no extra care rifling through the plates and cutlery as i prepared a midnight snack. i listened to the radio at a volume that i could hear over the sound of my own chewing.

if you've never tried, anything involving movement is about twice as hard to do if you're trying to do it quietly, so i enjoyed my more efficient use of energy.

throughout the whole exercise, i tried to remember if this was what it was like being a single, unattached man.

back then, i had cable tv, so, especially after a big sports day (my mountaineers beat their first-round ncaa tournament opponent) i'd likely have surfed the news for recaps and analysis of the game and probably would have fallen asleep on the couch.

it must have been one of my strategies to avoid the quiet of lying in bed with only my thoughts.

i mean, that must have been why i left the tv and/or radio on when i lived alone. i had to create my own company or at least the illusion of it, right?

but aloneness wasn't a bad condition. i think everyone should know how to live with it.

besides tv and internet foolishness, i learned to fill my hours with writing and prayer. i cultivated friendships and socialized. i was up on popular culture.

now i have a helpmate whose company i love and enjoy. i cook less. i have a social events scheduler. i don't even have to keep up with pop stars.

that old life isn't like riding a bike. it's a town long receded in my rear view mirror that's a nice place to visit, but one that i'm not willing to move back to any time soon.

footnote

2011-02-26T22:58:00.005-05:00

what started at grandma and papaw's this weekend more or less continued once we got home.

after sort of wobbily shifting weight from one foot to the other between sofa and adjacent easy chair at kris' parents' place, the boy took his first steps once we got home today.

i got home from the kroger store with some provisions and saw him standing at the couch sort of fooling around with the mail or the cushions on the seat and he just looked balanced and ready.

i set down the groceries, got on one knee, stretched out my arms and said, "come to papa."

he turned toward me, took a step, then had his next one thwarted by the stupid shoes i'd left next to the couch.

i caught him and was pissed at myself for not putting those clodhoppers into the closet like i should have as soon as i took them off.

he probably could have taken one or two more steps if he hadn't have tripped on the shoes.

i tried setting him up again, but noticed his right foot wasn't planted, and, of course, he dropped to his knees and crawled over.

about ten minutes later, he was standing again at the couch, this time with a whole wheat wafer in hand. but his balance looked good.

i cleared his path, waited for him to down the wafer, assumed the position and said the magic words.

he turned and took two good steps before he fell into my arms.

kris, who had been watching both times, clapped her hands to her mouth and welled up with tears.

"looks like we've got a biped," i said as i hugged him.

"oh my God ... and he was just in my belly!" she nearly sobbed.

and we knew then that our doom was at hand.

fab four

2011-02-26T20:45:00.005-05:00

during our two-night stay at "america's resort", i found i did four things with either great frequency or great abandon or both: eat, sleep, pray and shower. it was wonderful.

funny aside: kris slept two nights in a row for at least eight hours straight. we figured she hadn't slept that well since her second trimester.

leisure time

2011-02-26T00:38:00.008-05:00

tea time
Originally uploaded by grumpnet

kris had two genius ideas that brought us to the fabled greenbrier resort this weekend.

the first was choosing to take advantage of its "tribute to the virginias" deal that gave us two nights to enjoy the state's signature resort for a very attractive rate.

the second was finally deciding to take advantage of grandma's multiple offers to watch our boy for the day and a half we'd be there.

all i can say about this place now that i'm going on our dime and not part of the rush-rush with my parents and sibs, is that this is probably one of the last vacation spots that still recognizes the meaning of leisure and vacation -- as in the act of vacating.

away from the labor of love that is our little boy, kris and i have had time for both rest and relaxation at a pace unhurried by the vicissitudes of an almost toddler's temperament.

oddly, what we both looked forward to was eating. we talked, ate, drank and eavesdropped all we wanted, with no hurry at all.

we overlooked the casino as we lunched on fried green tomato sandwich and reuben. we listened to mozart chamber pieces at the afternoon high tea. we even had time to nap.

and once freed from the fiscal pressure of dinner at the main dining room -- eventually eased by the libation of well-made vodka martinis -- we enjoyed supper of salmon, veal and lobster to a fine jazz quartet.

as ever, the service here made the visit worthwhile, like the sweet young lady at the candy counter who was kind enough to give us samples of the strawberry cremes.

or the server who enthusiastically recommended the strangely named yet richly delectable chicken liver parfait.

or the wine steward who talked me out of a pinot noir for a malbec by offering samples of both to sit up against my nontraditional surf and turf entree.

seriously -- this is hospitality.

i even got to swim laps in the indoor pool built back in 1912 (?) and filled with water from the mineral springs. (it's olympic-sized, so i got in a hard half-mile swim -- the longest i've done in probably six years.)

so, yeah, with this last big bash before the one-income austerity kicks in, i'll have to say the experiences were worth it.

still, while we're enjoying these hours to ourselves, we're already looking forward to making the swing back up to collect our boy and returning to life as we know it -- refreshed and re-focused.

final edition

2011-02-18T03:11:00.017-05:00

final edition
Originally uploaded by grumpnet

today's paper was the last one kris and i would collaborate on for the foreseeable future.

the list atop the paper in the photo is a copy of the day's budget -- the stories under consideration for page 1.

kris uses the budget when she makes her pitches to our editors.

i sit in on meetings as either the 1a designer or graphics consultant for images that can run with stories.

we've done this for about two years now, but i've worked with kris in her capacity as reporter and city desk editor for about nine.

thursday marked the end of that run as she transitions to her new life as full-time mom.

(it just now dawns on me that our time as a couple at the paper was about three times longer than it was before i broke my rule about dating colleagues and the two friends became involved with each other.)

while i've had my back to her for most of our working life, her personality is such that i was aware of her presence wherever she was in the room.

i only got to enjoy this deskside view of her on a daily basis in the last year after she got her promotion, even though our schedule overlap limited my enjoyment to barely an hour.

and while i'll now be with her at least 16 hours a day, i'm still going to miss looking up to see her as my little respite from the daily grind of putting out a paper.

sicky poo

2011-01-30T00:09:00.006-05:00

about as rough a day as we've had in a while, beginning with good morning puke and ending with a protracted, nearly hour-long jag of crying until sleep at long last arrived.

second straight day he cried through his naps, wanting neither to be held nor put down. and his eating was fairly poor. at least he kept it and his liquids down the rest of the day.

he ran a mild fever friday and today, but it was mostly down by afternoon. we attributed it to a raft of vaccinations he received earlier in the week. can't remember, though, if vomiting was one of the side effects.

best sign so far is that he's still asleep about six hours in. this time last night, i think i'd already held him as we both slept on the couch and attempted to let him sleep with mama and me in bed. (that ended in about half an hour.)

come to think of it, the week kind of deteriorated after his birthday, beginning with said shots the day after, then a tussle with the cat wherein she finally connected with his face, just below the eye, then the low-grade fevers.

still and all, the blessing through this is that he still smiles and giggles easily and continues to babble in his babyspeak. he sure seems to be a happy little monkey.

let's hope the worst has passed.

year one in the books

2011-01-23T23:17:00.005-05:00

a year ago tonight, about this time, kris and i may have been polishing off the last of our blue and gold burgers ordered takeout from murads -- the first meal she'd had since giving birth to our baby boy hours before, and the first bleu cheese she'd had since she learned she was pregnant.

it seems so long ago since she believed neither her spouse nor her obstetrician that we could indeed see the boy's head emerging and that she should give one more good, hard push.

and those first nights coming home from work to spell my exhausted wife from eight hours alone with a mysterious, crying, spitting up baby are already a hazy memory now that he's more or less sleeping through the night.

daycare, hair, smiling, sitting up, crawling, standing, teething, giggling, vocalizing -- the days between seem like forever but they're adding up into that mysterious being becoming a person in what seems like the world's longest yesterday.

he had no idea that our families gathered to celebrate his first birthday today, only that there were a bunch of familiar faces and welcoming arms to hold him.

he was in a wonderful mood, having not only taken a good two hour nap before brunch, but possessing the courtesy to have created not one, not two, but four maximum strength diapers before ever leaving the house, so our outing was relatively drama free.

we went to mass, and afterward asked the priest to give the boy a blessing for his birthday, which he gladly obliged us. (he even threw in a recommendation that he get a good night's rest.)

after all that excitement, he actually is sleeping now, after a bit of a false start while daddy emailed pictures to the family.

so i got to spend the end of his first birthday in a manner not much different from that first day, holding him, pooped after a big day.

candlelit dinner, post baby

2011-01-23T00:53:00.010-05:00

candlelit dinner, post baby
Originally uploaded by grumpnet

steady work throughout the day yielded not only an unexpected intimate dinner, but the kind of clarity that an uncluttered table lends to conversation.

the meal was wonderful, though kris would tell you the pot roast was dry from being left in the slow cooker too long.

the side of roasted new potatoes with seasoned brussels sprouts, onions, carrots and mushrooms served with a thickened sauce gave the dish all the flavor and tenderness she felt was lacking.

i picked up a bottle of a red wine blend from apothic -- so juicy you could taste it without it ever touching your lips. a great selection from kris.

we were ruminating over dessert chocolates our lives before and after baby as ella fitzgerald and louis armstrong gave a gentle swing to old standards on "ella and louis," which seems my go-to dinner music when we can sit with knives, forks and wine glasses.

i repeated to kris how great i still thought it was that i had someone i could listen to this album with over a fine dinner.

she wondered what my life was like during this time when i was saving mood music for someone i hadn't yet met.

more to the point, she wondered how i felt in the days when i was still looking for my love and my siblings were starting their families.

after a long, drawn-out exposition -- she should have expected no less -- it came down to my being nothing but happy and amazed when their babies came into the world.

she spoke of the hormone-driven anxiety that washed over her in the hours and days after we first brought the child home.

i remembered my observations and those of others that served as some indicator of how out to sea we'd really be.

we talked about the roots of our relationship and how apparent dead ends in the early going were in reality links being forged in the chain of events that ultimately led to the eve of our son's first birthday.

this was deep conversation -- more than current events or gossip. this was us.

i told her then, as i always do, i can't imagine who it would have been if it hadn't been her. she is the answer made clear from the fog of vague yearning.

i knew my life wanted for something; i just never knew what it was until i found it.

this is us. this is life. this is living.

thanks be to God.

bar hopping

2011-01-22T03:06:00.002-05:00

bar hop
Originally uploaded by grumpnet

this is a very early picture of the boy, back when he slept in restaurants, with kris and our buddy, tim.

he and i, along with our high school classmate, pam, have been meeting together monthly now as the "wwhs trio" since late 2000.

our venues have changed, from the venerable old mulligan's on capitol street to sam's uptown cafe up the street to the family friendly confines of murad's on 35th in kanawha city.

we met again last night, with the boy in high gear, head spinning about to catch all the action going on as the waitress and patrons moved about, ogling the multiple television sets and grabbing everything within reach.

i felt bad after a while because we usually use these couple of hours to catch up on work and life, bucking each other up and celebrating our little triumphs.

this time around, i spent most of the evening keeping an eye on the boy and not really engaged with my adult company.

i could only acknowledge what i was hearing, but not digest or fully react to it. i felt like i wasn't holding up my end of the conversation, which sort of defeats the purpose of the gathering.

last year was amazingly rough on my friends, what with health and relationship issues, and i don't think i was really there for them.

i know a baby changes things, but i'd hate to think a re-setting of priorities with close friends has to be one of them.

my world is contracting in that respect, growing more insulated and insular, in an effort to, what, conserve energy?

well, maybe.

but love, which is what we have, makes all things possible.

if i value my friendships, i can't just wing it like i used to. it's going to take a little more effort.

i believe that is possible.

the scene of the crime

2011-01-14T21:27:00.007-05:00

i'm on a social jag.

the welcome home for our friend carrie continued tonight with a visit to the only eatery that serves burgers and suds where we feel comfortable taking the boy. (mostly because the crowd murmur and the multiple big screen tvs at murads cover his outbursts.)

we met with our friends becky and ben, who hadn't seen carrie since she left the state ahead of her late spouse, mike, more than five years ago.

there was a little catching up and a bit of what we're doing now -- becky left the paper last fall -- and general commiserating on child-rearing.

(becky said it was cliche to say that the years when he's little go by so fast, but that it was true. i told her that the advice to enjoy this time has been heard, heeded and appreciated.)

something that made us laugh happened when carrie's little girl, now 3, had had enough of us boring adults and took to traveling around the dining area.

somehow, she wound up on her bottom near the bar and carrie rushed to pick her up.

kris asked carrie if she ever imagined five years ago that she'd be doing something like that.

i replied, "yeah, five years ago it would have been one of you two on the bar floor."

date night ... sort of

2011-01-08T02:54:00.009-05:00

this was my wife's idea: drop off the boy at day care, then steal away for a late date lunch -- after work, so she could have beer.

she was already feeling guilty after i arrived late because that meant we'd be picking up the boy later than she wanted.

she doesn't think she spends enough time with him already and felt badly that we were daring to spend time away.

even after our arrival at the pies and pints downtown, she felt guilty, especially after she saw not only the mother of one of the kids from the day care center there, but the kid himself.

luckily, those feelings subsided with arrival of our yummy adult beverages, hers, a deep chocolate stout and mine a dark winter lager.

we actually got to catch up and converse. and not just baby stuff. gossip and work stories. i think the only thing lacking was current events, and that's because i don't have time to peruse the new york times and washington post anymore.

our pizza, half steak and cheese and half thai with curry and shrimp, was amazing and went well with the beers. we finished it off with an embarrassing ease.

(it helped that this was our day off from the new year's diet game, so we were primed to pig out. also -- said child with said mother began to melt down at the end of their meal, so we were glad we didn't have to deal with that.)

while we had to leave to pick up the boy, oddly, given our satedness, but not surprisingly, i still wanted dessert.

with our standby, ellen's ice cream, closed for renovations, we popped by the coffee counter at taylor books across the street and got some great cupcakes from a new baker in town, goodness cakes.

we told the girl at the counter to skip the box because we'd eat them as we walked.

in the two blocks to get to the car in the freezing afternoon, it really felt like a date, what with the laughing and noshing and cleaning the amazing butter icing off our faces.

funny thing was, the whole affair lasted less than two hours, but had the effect of lifting our spirits from the tiredness that settles in after being parents and worker bees 24/7.

even though it wasn't officially a birthday date, it made for a priceless gift. thanks for the birthday present, sweetie.

46 in the rear view

2011-01-08T01:10:00.008-05:00

i remember waking up with a start the morning i turned 27.

it was probably the first time in my life that i recognized that time -- and life -- was moving on; like, "well, it's all downhill from here."

turning 30 seemed like it was an inevitability and, oddly, a dead end. to what? youth?

as this last birthday approached, i had the same, sinking feeling that i experienced 20 years ago, this time that i was facing the wall of turning 50. 50!

dude, that's well past middle age if i'm planning to live to 100. now it really is all downhill.

looking back, and looking back at all the times when i felt like i was "getting old" -- in my teens, 20s and 30s -- i realize i hadn't even begun living.

it's entirely likely i'm doing the same thing now.

i just spent the better part of four hours over the course of this day writing back to people i've known from just about every point in my life, from childhood to grade school, junior high and high school to college and work.

(given my responsibilities with the boy, i don't have the luxury to reply to things, especially facebook things, on the spot anymore, so i had to do them in concentrated batches.)

but in doing so, i got to compress more than 40 years of relationships into little bites of time with friends old and new.

exchanging greetings provided a nice overview of where i've been, the people i've met, the great times i've had, and the adventures that yet await.

a friend and former colleague posted that i'd likely regard the day as "just another," as i had for birthdays in the newsroom past. she was sort of right in one respect.

despite the anxiety that burbled in the moments i had to contemplate the oncoming occasion, once the day hit, i had too much routine by way of baby care, then work, to tend to pay it any mind.

but in the hours spent today replying to my well-wishers, it made me happy to see so many friends. so it was a few days late, but they really did make it a happy and marvelous day.

(a p.s. on the turning-27 dread: it actually softened the blow when 30 arrived. hopefully it happens again in three years.)

day one

2011-01-01T23:58:00.006-05:00

beat, i think, is the word of the day.

kris is down after beginning her new year with an early morning grocery shopping trip in preparation for the coming month's privations/lifestyle shake-up by way of diet and exercise.

i'm probably not far behind in that i'm about in the middle of an abbreviated laundry service -- at least our two biggest loads, darks and whites.

did a quickie mop of the kitchen after kris prepped some yummy pork chops for this week's meals.

the dishwasher needs emptied and there's another load waiting to go, but it requires the energy expenditure for working quietly that i don't really have right now.

had the new tradition of hoppin' johns over at my sister's place for supper. she learned of the dish while her husband was stationed in oklahoma. it's supposed to bring good luck in the new year.

i played some beyblade battle tops with my nephew while watching "how to train your dragon" with his sisters and papa. (two installments, before and after dinner.) both were fun.

our family's contribution was a tasty riesling that seemed like something good to go with the light spice of the hoppin' johns.

then there were the optional bonus pork chops that i couldn't stop myself from having as the side, plus homemade cheesecake. that was like, win-win-win.

kris got to hang out with my sisters and play with the nieces before joining us downstairs to watch the rest of the movie.

we were tired on the drive home, after the boy managed to stay past his bedtime to keep up with his cousins.

i told kris the same thing i said after heading home to charleston from a whirlwind christmas that took us from gatherings in parkersburg to beckley in 48 hours: this is living.

when you think of all the shut-ins and those yearning to be loved or even just spoken to on days when society touts family, friends and togetherness, to be tired after an immersion of warmth and busyness is probably the greatest blessing one could receive.

i didn't think i'd make it past changing my clothes, but here i am, getting ready to move the first load to the dryer.

i have a little bit extra to call on to do a few chores before hitting the sack because i'm living the life of a truly blessed man.

amen and amen.

new resolve

2010-12-31T23:56:00.004-05:00

what can i say?

thanks to this blog, it seems the only time i write in this crazy thing anymore is new year's eve, to get my resolutions down in print.

well, recognizing the new limits a child brings to our former way of life, i have pared what was already a sparse list of five resolutions down to three:

pray: give the Lord 15 minutes a day to speak to you.
save money: for yourself and your son's education.
exercise: get back your old wind and tone.

i'm asking even less of myself than even last year, which was attempted in short bursts, but not in any sustained fashion.

maybe if i can keep things few and simple, i can actually get them done.

happy new year, everyone.

in the rear view

2010-12-31T23:41:00.004-05:00

just getting in under the wire again.

on the whole, i think most of my friends are glad to put this past year behind us.

at least in my experience, i hadn't had a year so fraught with loss and illness among my friends and loved ones since 1991, a really terrible year.

and yet, for all its pains and heartaches, 2010 was redeemed by the birth of our baby boy, who has been a constant source of blessings and joy.

for this, kris and i give thanks to a kind and generous God.

a little drink

2010-12-27T21:34:00.003-05:00

so today, the boy drank out of a sippy cup.

this was a unilateral decision by his mom, seconded by me.

this was one of those "he has to stop drinking from the bottle by this age" kinds of things that mama worries about.

our first effort was a scrub. when offered the choice between a bottle of water and a sippy cup of milk, he wanted it both ways, which led to a lot of screaming and struggling.

mama had to go to work, so i had to do the next round solo.

after a nice nap, daddy and baby went to the kitchen, where i poured milk into a cup and let him sip, minus the lid.

then, i let him nibble on the spout on the lid, which he sort of gnawed on.

then i put the lid on the cup with milk.

and i'll be danged if he didn't start drinking. he must have taken about six ounces or so.

he finished a container of yogurt and a few cheerios for a full breakfast.

it sure felt like a miracle.

kris reported that he drank all his milk the same way at daycare and supper, to boot.

and he finished about five ounces not an hour ago.

maybe by week's end, we'll have washed his last bottle.

and another door to infanthood will have closed.

it really does move fast, doesn't it?

this is business not personal

2010-12-17T22:09:00.004-05:00

so this guy writes about his feelings now that his beloved west virginia mountaineers have hired a hotshot offensive coordinator, but is conflicted over the manner in which it was handled.

long story short, football head coach bill stewart was told he'd either be fired at the end of the season or he could train his replacement next season and then retire.

seems kind of harsh, doesn't it?

but it's the way of big-time college athletics. it's a business upon which other sports entities at the university depend for funding.

would that all decisions be soft and fluffy and have a happy ending. but when it comes to dollars and cents, it's either loss or gain.

such a black and white view of situations is probably the reason i'm not a very good middle manager. i only see bubbling stew in decisions while strong managers boil them down.

next season may very well be like looking at a neatly wrapped package of ground sirloin in the supermarket in that i'm excited about the prospects a new offensive coordinator brings, but i wish i didn't have to watch how the final product came about.

season's fleeting

2010-12-12T01:16:00.004-05:00

all lit up
Originally uploaded by grumpnet

while i always look forward to the christmas season, i can't say i've enjoyed one for some time.

maybe it's my line of work, what with daily deadlines and eagerly ticking off each edition as one step closer to the weekend.

we eat seasons in five-day chunks, so, yeah, why should the time between thanksgiving and new years be any different?

i wrote about this last year, too. maybe the addition of a baby who also makes demands on our time has made these days fly even faster than before.

(of course, once the boy gets the hang of having to wait for new toys, from his point of view, this period will move excruciatingly slowly.)

so i'm going to try to savor this time.

tonight, while i folded laundry, i listened to christmas music on the itunes radio and turned my christmas mixes to "shuffle."

i like listening more to radio than i do my own mixes or albums at holiday time because it feels more communal. everyone's listening, so the season must be here.

while i might be horking down this holiday in giant bites, i can at least take the moments to try to chew them well when i can.

turnaround time

2010-12-10T23:48:00.005-05:00

i don't think i've ever gotten my picture taken while driving and i haven't shot anything from behind the wheel lately, so this photo will have to suffice.

but given it was shot at the turnaround point of a 30-hour thanksgiving car trip to southern florida, it also illustrates my latest concession to age: a slower recovery time.

i was wondering this week why i've been so slack with the little things like bottle washing and making formula, choosing instead to veg out and/or sleep.

well, it dawned on me -- again, as it has lately after long excursions -- that my body doesn't bounce back like it used to after days on the road with little sleep.

compound that the following week with a much shorter, but still intense, there-and-back to morgantown (with a three-hour drive in the snow) and it isn't surprising at all that i've been so beat.

well, we're staying home this weekend. i've just finished paying bills. i'm staring at dishes that can be washed tomorrow. there's laundry to do.

and i'll be ready to go at it -- right after i go back to bed.

let's hope our ailing boy -- another ear infection -- will be kind to us this evening.

last home game

2010-12-05T22:35:00.004-05:00

bogo
Originally uploaded by grumpnet

the missus indulged me one last ball game saturday.

armed with dad's last pair of west virginia u season tickets and no one left to go with, i headed up the interstate for morgantown for my first solo road trip in i don't know how long.

i listened to the radio and cds and sang songs and had the time to let my mind roam in a way i hadn't in some time.

actually took the i-68 route into town that i always bypass and found i only had to stop at lights, not long lines of traffic. i guess the university recommends that route for a reason.

took time for a burger, shake and fries at hardees and ate at my sister's place before walking in a little late for the game.

with the temps at around 30 degrees, i was pretty warm in five layers of clothing -- union suit, t-shirt, thermal shirt, fleece jacket, stadium coat -- plus gloves, scarf, hat and thinsulate boots.

this wasn't the first time i'd sat by myself in the stands. as ever, the fans are ready to share in their joy and jawbone every once in a while about nothing. i high-fived and chatted with the old guy behind me a number of times. so it wasn't like being alone.

on the way out after the game, the souvenir tent offered a buy-one-get-one sale to get rid of merchandise. i found a couple of toddler-sized jerseys that i thought would fit the boy for the next couple of years.

(as you can see, either nike sizes pretty small or our boy is getting pretty long.)

took a quick nap, then went to see my old buddy jake over at his place and got to see his girlfriend, micalyn, and another buddy, matt, and his girlfriend, emily. we watched wvu's basketball team blow a 13-point lead and lose to miami, then i left for charleston.

it snowed the whole way down. driving kris' honda wasn't too much unlike driving my sister joy's old civic si back in the day.

listened to florida state play virginia tech, then oklahoma-nebraska on the am radio and just focused, focused, focused on driving. passed at least three salt trucks on the way down.

with all-season tires and careful, controlled passing, i made it back in three hours, including a fuel stop and burger and shake stop.

it was intense, but it was nice to know i can still do the light snow drive without the jeep.

funny thing about the alone drive that i think the boy should learn over the course of his life. he should learn the importance of knowing how to live and conduct himself in solitude and that there's nothing wrong with it.

on the contrary, i can think of no better way to get to know yourself and develop self-awareness. i hope he learns how to do this.

the mullenium bug

2010-12-05T22:01:00.003-05:00

i don't know if west virginia's offensive coordinator did enough this last month to save his job. i suppose i won't be sure until after the champs sports bowl in orlando later this month.

if he can call a good game there, i wouldn't be surprised if he were back next year.

if he is, i hope he's learned the lesson of having a handful of plays that are run well instead of a garbage bag of tricks that sometimes work.

he reminds me of me as a high schooler and undergrad. instead of focusing on the tried-and-true formula of achievement -- good grades -- i concentrated on versatility in extracurriculars.

and you can see where that got me.

oh well

2010-12-05T21:57:00.002-05:00

oh well
Originally uploaded by grumpnet

actually made another mountaineer game this year -- the last one.

even after this year's missteps, there was a lot at stake -- a big east championship and, more importantly, a chance to go to a bcs bowl game.

we beat an injured, snakebit and heart-heavy rutgers squad in tidy fashion.

no overwrought gadget plays, just good straight up running and passing. we actually looked good and i didn't want to eat my own liver watching.

then we had to depend on the university of south florida to win us our chance to play, since we missed our own opportunity with an inept, fumble-filled loss to the university of connecticut back in october.

that we had to depend on a third party to determine our fate should serve as a lesson. we had our chance and we blew it. this time it cost us.

south florida lost to uconn on a last-minute field goal in regulation, sending the huskies to play the oklahoma sooners in the fiesta bowl.

poop.

piece of cake

2010-11-28T03:19:00.005-05:00

this is more than a hello kitty birthday cake.

it is a monument to great customer service.

my brother pj and i were picking up a cake for his eldest daughter's birthday gathering with her cousins this weekend.

unfortunately, a custom cake like the one his girl wanted required 24 hours notice.

well ... while we were contemplating buying the pieces and cobbling one together ourselves, a friend of the cake decorator visiting the counter at this west palm beach publix supermarket more or less goaded her into creating it by remarking how simple it would be to create it.

the decorator's friend was charming and helped run a family chain of sub shops. she hoped to start her own cake business.

all this i learned while she chatted up her buddy behind the counter.

in minutes, despite company policy, she put together a lovely confection that i hope would be a hit with pj's daughter and her cousins.

(actually, our whole experience at that publix was very nice. the cashier was chatty and kind and helpful in helping us not to damage the cake. she was most relieved the thanksgiving food rush was over.)

so thank you, "b" and your friend and colleagues at the publix. you really did make our shopping a pleasure.

road warrior 2: first concession

2010-11-28T03:16:00.002-05:00

lolo and toboggan boy
Originally uploaded by grumpnet

dad's been my mentor for highway driving ever since i got my learner's permit.

by both example and word he taught me the rules of the road.

i learned strategy and technique and even philosophy with him in both the literal and metaphorical backseat.

(the sight of his head in my rearview mirror in those early days was most intimidating.)

while he, as i, could be guilty of impatience and pique behind the wheel, he showed what a joy the open road could be.

his best advice and antidote to road rage came on a stretch of i-95 southbound.

some driver was being a particular jerk and i was going to teach him a lesson.

dad saw what i was trying to do and cautioned me against such a dangerous and foolish attempt with four words: "the road is long."

and with that he nipped in the bud what could have been a protracted and stupid high-speed clash of egos.

i write all this because i was awakened on this holiday weekend's marathon drive by dad correcting himself from a steering error.

then, as i watched, he drifted into the next lane for no reason.

i told dad he was swerving and told him we should switch off at the next rest stop, which luckily was only a mile away.

that was the first time i'd ever sought to relieve him of his duty.

once home, as we got out of the car, he said, "you know, i thought i could drive all night," conceding that, at 74, he no longer could.

i think this was a bummer for both of us.

road warrior

2010-11-28T02:51:00.004-05:00

road warrior
Originally uploaded by grumpnet

mama took this picture of the boy on the final leg of his first whirlwind marathon road trip with the fam.

the sun was peeking above the alleghenies between virginia and west virginia early saturday and he was ready to start the day after papa gassed up the yukon and bought some christmas presents at the hess station in wytheville.

he'd left his cousins a scant 12 hours before in west palm beach, fla., for the long journey into night. we'd spent all of maybe 30 hours on thanksgiving vacation there.

crazy? yes. but this is what our family does for a few moments of togetherness; he might as well be inculcated into this culture early.

for weeks, kris had worried about this trip.

and while i was impressed with his stamina for the long drive to myrtle beach this summer, i wasn't sure how he'd do on "the big one" that was essentially twice its length.

well, the boy acquitted himself more than nicely.

he slept for long stretches at a time with only a handful of brief crying jags that were remedied with a bottle or soothing words from his mom.

(of course, we were also blessed with a lack of catastrophic diaper incidents, so add that to the list of things we were grateful for this weekend.)

as we sat in the beckley ihop for a pancake breakfast a mere 13 hours later, i looked at our son happily burbling and looking around and thought, "he's in. he's a made man."

he took the toughest trip in the annual family itinerary and came out smiling.

i told dad that this was the first thing i'd ever been proud of him for.

pig. out.

2010-11-25T23:36:00.004-05:00

i don't think i've ever had a bad thanksgiving day dinner. (just one more thing to be thankful for.)

that said, i pretty much eat only one plate filled with samples of the bounteous feast set before me.

this is usually enough to fill me up once i have a dessert sampler to go with it.

and that's a shame.

i really wish i could pig out with at least second helpings, but i can't. i get full and the pleasure of eating is over. discomfort can only follow another mouthful.

i suppose i could limit myself to say, the basics -- turkey, corn, potatoes, cranberry sauce and stuffing.

a "slim" menu like that, though, leaves out ham, sweet potato pie, green beans, bread and more.

too bad i like tasting as much as i like eating.

oh, well. gluttony just isn't as attractive to me as it once was.

what a pity.

whoa

2010-11-07T00:37:00.005-04:00

kris and i took a moment to marvel today at how big our boy is getting and how he's ready to move to the next size car seat.

now, as i wind down with some laundry and dishwashing, it occurs to me that i don't think i took any pictures of the boy this week.

this is what they talk about when parents say the time goes fast.

i'm spending the week wishing the three of us would get over our various colds and infections, which also means i'm kind of wishing the days away.

we wonder and dream about his future while we wistfully hold on to a present that quickly becomes his past.

each day has had its challenge; each triumph, big or little, has been richly and wondrously fulfilling.

food net

2010-10-30T22:33:00.003-04:00

i like burgers and i like pizza and i like playing on the internet.

i really like it when some combination of the two can occur.

i just took a survey with wendy's hamburgers using the receipt from my semi-ritual end-of-the-week cheeseburger on the way home from work.

taking it entitled me to a free single cheeseburger* (* bacon & cheese extra charge.) i have 14 days to redeem the coupon. i'll find some way, i'm sure.

the burger, btw, was worth eating a light dinner for at the office. it was a double combo with milk, which is what i always seem to drink from wendy's when i eat at home. weird. the fries were awful, as usual, but it was still everything i could have wanted in an illicit burger meal.

lately, i've become a big fan of domino's pizza's online ordering site.

using it allows me to order specials and create pizzas with no fuss. by using my credit card, they're already paid for when they get to the house. plus i have time to figure a tip.

but the best part is the pizza tracker that shows in real-time who has taken my order, who is making my pizza, who is checking my order and who is delivering my pizza -- all in a step-by-step bar graph. it's crazy.

of course, all of this would be moot if the pizza tasted like it used to, which was like something you'd eat if you were absolutely desperate for a pizza-like food to be delivered to your residence.

with the change of its recipe, from garlicky, buttery crust to yummy sauce and cheese, i have more incentive to order conveniently from the shop just down the hill than from, say, the papa john's across the bridge or driving to the delicious, but drug-addicted sloth-like drive-thru of the mama rosa's on the west side.

it's not better than those guys, but domino's is at least in the running when considering fast-food pizzas.

sick again

2010-10-30T21:50:00.006-04:00

the first time i told my publisher that i thought i'd picked up my son's cold, she told me that when her children were little, she was getting sick every ten days.

i laughed, but she didn't seem to think it was an exaggeration.

well, here i am, up after sleeping away most of today after a night with a low-grade fever. my chest is a little congested and until i took a long, hot shower this afternoon, i couldn't breathe through my nose.

it's been maybe a month since my last bout of illness. and kris seems to be picking up where i left off.

i blame the boy.

my friend steven liked to refer to small children as "little germ factories." (this before he ever got married and had kids.)

i laughed and knew it was true, but wow, in real time, it's like a 12-round boxing match.

you battle and fight and scrap. you get to rest. then you have to do it all over again.

i also blame parents who knowingly take their sick kids to daycare.

kris says she came to pick up the boy and watched him standing outside some other child's crib as they took turns pulling a pacifier out of their own mouth and putting it into the others'.

she watched him do this six times.

now he has pink eye and an ear infection. (his third one in about six months. one more makes him a candidate for ear tubes. don't like the sound of that.)

this will pass. all the scurrying and getting run ragged i'm chalking up to the joy of parenthood. best roller coaster i've ever been on.

the angry guy

2010-10-24T23:03:00.002-04:00

live in a manner worthy of the call you have received,
with all humility and gentleness, with patience,
bearing with one another through love,
striving to preserve the unity of the spirit
through the bond of peace

eph 4:1-3

i haven't practiced humility nor gentleness nor patience nor forbearance at work in probably years.

when there's an alert notice on when my head explodes at the office, then i know i have lost what poise i ever possessed in my job.

when i was in grade school, the only male teacher we ever had blew his cool when our seventh grade class was unruly.

"would you shut the hell up?!" he cried.

well, we did, out of shock and amazement at his profanity. (it was a catholic school, after all.)

problem was, in subsequent use, it lost its impact. there was no menace or surprise in its utterance.

i'm still fairly cheerful at work. but my fuse is a mere fraction of what it was.

what i thought were rare, effective displays of temper are now weekly occurrences, what with the grousing and frustration with increased demands on a smaller staff.

i can't be like that anymore.

anyone who knew me in my previous incarnation has moved on; the side the new hires see now is perky, but short-tempered middle manager.

that's not me; this has to stop.

fed up

2010-10-23T19:30:00.004-04:00

i’ve been an apologist for the present coaching staff since west virginia university head football coach bill stewart first assembled it.

after losing to a syracuse team we've owned for the past eight years, the excuses end today.

offensive coordinator jeff mullen seems to draw up fantastical plays with all kinds of bells and whistles -- which is wonderful when you're playing against conventional, college-boy defensive strategies.

problem is, he doesn't seem to have an answer for straight-up, pro-style smashmouth defense. and if he does, he doesn't seem to know when to call it.

after witnessing the deer-in-the-headlights playcalling in the face of a defense that was wasn’t having any of our tinker toy gadgetry, i think it’s time to get someone in the coordinator’s position who knows how to manage a ballgame in real time.

mullen needs to be shown the door.

after 23 years, poof, she's gone

2010-10-16T02:12:00.005-04:00

been meaning to write this ever since my now former supervisor announced she was leaving for a new job last month. (wow. i was still a callow college student when she started working.)

while i'm pretty much over the shock, sadness and anxiety -- mostly since she's now gone -- it seems my reaction and that of the newsroom veterans she left behind was something not unlike that to the death of a loved one.

when kris called to tell me becky was leaving for a gig with the state, it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. i was so depressed by the news i had to lie down. i slept the daytime sleep of one trying to escape reality.

to say she was a vital cog in the machine is an understatement.

not only was she a good manager responsible for many behind-the-scenes administrative tasks, after more than 20 years at the paper, she was a vital newsgathering source.

she was savvy to the movers and shakers in town, knew the interconnectedness of personalities and issues and, most importantly, knew what was important to her editors. her news judgment was invaluable.

i'm fairly certain everyone in the place would have figured her to be the last person to quit.

she was part of the institutional memory of the place. and for me, personally, my last link to my beginnings at the paper.

she was always kind to me and seemed genuinely interested in my doings. we both enjoyed musical theater and 1970s television.

even though she was a year younger than me, she still seemed like a protective big sister/cheerleader, which i always appreciated.

at the same time, we served as each other's sounding boards at various points in our lives and careers. she even tried to serve as matchmaker, but i was too dense to know what she was doing.

that said, i could always count on her for relationship advice all the way up to my eventual marriage. she really became quite a good friend.

so i was fairly mournful when i heard the news that she would no longer be a part of my day-to-day life.

truth be told, it was akin to having someone break up with me.

really. i was afraid the weeks between her announcement and her actual departure would be akin to a date i had in college, wherein the girl i was seeing broke up with me before we attended an awards banquet for our service fraternity.

i had to sit there with her knowing the whole time that our romantic relationship was over and that we would not be with each other "that way" again. it was a long, lingering death.

fortunately, newspapers being what they are, we had to keep moving to meet a daily deadline. there was no time for grief while there were pages that needed to be filled and sent to press.

and there were only a few minutes to mull over our impending loss and the sense of how screwed we were once we would have to assume the many unknown duties she was responsible for.

i drew some solace from something she said every time someone we deemed irreplaceable left: we always manage to go on.

and so we have these past two days.

it feels like she's gone on vacation and we're just filling in for her.

by the time we feel ownership of the position, we'll be reconciled with the fact that she's not coming back.

while i'll be the goofy uncle to her mother hen's care of the copydesk, we'll still miss her.

night shift

2010-10-16T01:42:00.005-04:00

it's nearly 2 a.m. and i'm writing because i hardly get the chance to anymore.

the boy is dosed on tylenol and teething tablets as some powerfully painful choppers must be coming in.

the wife is dreaming nyquil dreams after a few days of some cold that caught up with her.

after blowing about two hours on facebook, i've emptied the dishwasher and filled it again with the past day's cookery and baby feedery.

(we're running it nearly every other day, what with the boy eating solid food with utensils and tiny containers for the food his mama makes. he still drinks lots of milk, though. and his appetite seems to be growing.)

he's got two lower baby teeth now. and he seems to have made a breakthrough on his first word.

not "mama."

not "papa."

"kitty."

xxx

2010-10-10T23:57:00.005-04:00

that's 10/10/10 in roman. (and also the explanation for "30" signifying the end of stories in newspapers.)

this is the end of one of those one-of-a-kind days you get on the calendar with neat significances.

so i was pleasantly surprised to see on my nighttime jog not one, but two wedding receptions.

the first, at the summit conference center, on quarrier street downtown seemed to be breaking up.

a traditional crowd, by the looks of it. dark suits, black dresses, guests or bridesmaids in a pastel yellow.

i yelled at the party in the parking lot as i ran: "did someone get married?"

the girls looked surprised and suspicious.

a disembodied male voice came over a van. "yeah!"

"congratulations!" i replied.

"thanks!"

the other was a group in front of the sound factory, a local rock club. the joyous crowd delightfully tattooed, elegantly rocking and splendiferous in black, leather and, on at least one fellow, chains.

i caught these guys on my cool down along kanawha boulevard.

there were some hoots at the man in shorts.

"hi, girls," i said as i made my way around them on the sidewalk.

one of the crowd came out to invite me in. i high-fived her and told her to knock back a couple for me.

she seemed cool with that and we parted ways. seems their reception was just beginning.

hope everyone has a good time and a great life.