what started as a church hall christmas party for a handful of young filipino families in early 1970s beckley, w.va., has grown into a gathering for three generations from three towns in a small convention center.
a number of things have changed after almost 40 years.
it used to be pot luck, with every family responsible for either an entree or dessert, usually someone's special dish from back home.
this evening it was catered; save for the lechon, a roasted suckling pig, the buffet style meal was all-american -- mashed potatoes, green beans, corn, grilled chicken breast and roast beef.
(the bonus was the option to buy whole bottles of wine, say, for a table of family and/or friends. it seemed like a better deal than glass after glass of the stuff.)
the attendees were the same -- and different.
i saw harried young parents trying to balance enjoying themselves with attempts to keep their kids from running amok; i.e., doing what they themselves were doing 30 years before.
i noticed more self-absorbed college and high school students than i'd seen in a while. and following the trend of recent years, there were more grandparents than at the first one (they used to be the young parents).
i remember being the kid crazed by santa's impending visit and feeding on the mania of other like-minded children.
i also remember being the awkward, unsociable teen before morphing into the too-cool-for-this-ethnic-stuff college punk.
it's weird how the wheel turns but its axis never changes.
you can always count on three things at these big soirees: generous helpings of food and drink; some sort of folk -- and not-so-folk -- entertainment; and dancing, dancing, dancing.
i think the disenchantment i felt after i outgrew santa's party visits, where i questioned the relevance of these gatherings, has since been replaced with an appreciation of my own culture and the role we played in this part of the country.
my parents and their friends originally gathered because they, as an immigrant community, wanted to bring some of the pleasures and camaraderie of their old home far away to their new one.
in doing so, they brought over the cultural mindset of our people.
watching for the umpteenth time our moms and dads and "aunts" and "uncles" daring to perform choreographed dances whether or not they possessed real rhythm reveals to me a kind of un-self-conscious willingness to risk appearing foolish for a good laugh and a little entertainment.
this is a trait that i don't see being carried on by our present generation of filipino-americans in this state, which is a shame.
i suppose in becoming "americanized," being the focus of frivolous attention every once in a while -- as opposed to that for one's more serious accomplishments -- is something we're not yet comfortable with. (maybe it betrays a lack of confidence in our own acceptance as citizens -- or as adults?)
outside the home, i don't think we as children appreciated that for years our dads and moms were often the only medical care available to poorly served, rural areas of the state.
in return, we were welcomed into these communities and became a real -- if not surreal -- part of the the area's cultural fabric, the tan patch in the quilt, as it were.
i suppose in much the same way that west virginians never really lose the tether to their home state, so have we not totally cut the cord to our own philippine homeland.
that kind of sentiment and appreciation of place and time may explain why we've managed to keep each other such good company all these years.
and while not many of my peers seem interested now in maintaining the links to where we came from, i hope, as we grow more comfortable in our skins, this will be true for us, too.
the rest -- musings on women, accounts of dates, projections, rejections and all the relationship stuff of bachelor living -- was no longer in play once i bought the engagement ring.
